November 30

Today is our last Thankful For post for the year. Just because 'November Thankfuls' are over doesn't mean we can't still be thankful for what God gives us daily.  I am glad for all the participation. We had some who participated last year who didn't this year, we had return participants. I am thankful for everyone who participated whether it was one post or thirty or somewhere in between. Just to get us thinking about what we have and where it comes from was the goal, and from the posts I read, I truly believe it was successful. I take things for granted every day. I needed this to get back to basics. I thank you for your participation!

As always, please remember friends/neighbors/family in your prayers. Please remember my Uncle Wade. He goes by Kelly where he lives (his first name) but was raised as Wade because mammaw's brother was also Kelly. His wife passed away yesterday after a lengthy illness. They live in Tucson Arizona. It has been many years since I have seen them. Please keep the Wolf family in your prayers. Tonight begins a long difficult journey for them. The next few days for them will be difficult. Prayer helps! Please remember them.

I love all y'all!

To be continued..........

November 29

Today my post was "Thankful for friends who care about each other" - friendship means the world to us. We  should always be thankful when we have people who love and care about us. 

Please continue to remember the Wolf family in your prayers. These next days and weeks they will especially need prayers.

Please continue to remember my friend who found out yesterday her cancer is back and it is in her spine. She is an exceptional nurse, friend, person. Everyone who knows her loves her dearly. Please remember her in your prayers. 

Also, please remember my friend Sandy in your prayers. Her foot is infected and she had to have surgery today. I haven't heard from her since her post last night telling us about the surgery today. Pray for healing!

I love all y'all! 

To be continued......

November 28

Today I posted that I am thankful for the participation in the thankful for posts. I am. I have been blessed by so many posts! For 2 years now, our group has been participating in this and I feel so blessed to have been a part of it! I hope you have been equally or greater blessed!! I think we should make it a November tradition. I love traditions as you know!

My cousin brought an old picture of Rick, me and Val to my mom's today. I was at work, but Val sent it to me as a text and she posted it on facebook. When I first saw it, I thought it was of Livvy. Then after I got to looking I discovered it was Val. Look how young I look! You can barely see part of Rick.

She appears to be very unhappy! I don't remember making the picture, so I can't tell you where it was taken. She appears to be about a year old, maybe 18 months. Look at that face. She was a sweet baby most of the time. Very spoiled. We have on short sleeves, so I am not sure when or where this is, she is standing so she has to be at least a year.... I do not remember that shirt, but I love it!

I want to be a bit serious now. Today we got a call from a friend who needs our prayers. It would appear her cancer has metastasized and could be on/in her spine. She is a breast cancer survivor for I want to say 2 or 3 years now, could be less. Time has a way of slipping by without really letting me know sometimes. I believe she has had it since Rick passed away so that would make it less than 3 years. Please remember her in your prayers.

Also, our neighbor lost her battle with cancer tonight. Please remember Jim Wolf and his family in your prayers as they come to terms with the loss of their loved one. The next few days will be a blur and they will need prayer to help them through. The days and weeks following will be when the reality of the situation really begins to set in. Yes, they know she is gone, but there is so much happening now, they just need our prayers. Please remember them.

Also, the Priddy and Jaggers families still need our prayers. It has been a few weeks for them, but they still need us. Please, please pray.

And pray for our country and even just pray for our state and surrounding counties. Man, this morning there were deaths. Shootings in Hart and Barren County (murder/suicide) and stabbing in Bowling Green. This is too close to home. We are a country, peaceful community. This is big city stuff happening right here in our hometown. Please remember to pray. Please. The signs of the end of time seem to be happening all around us.

I love all y'all!
To be continued..........

November 27 Happy Birthday Ricky

Rick and his 2 month old Tobers, Christmas Eve 2008. That was the night God promised her to me if I stayed with Him. He has surely tested my faith these past few years. I am trying hard Lord! She was Papaw's girl for sure! He loved her with all his heart!

I think this post will be about Rick. It is his birthday today. So, maybe time for a few funny stories. Many, many years ago we were home from Massachusetts for a few days. It was about 2 am and I was awakened by his scream. The bed had broken and we were on the floor. Now, we were both asleep, honest. My parents of course woke up with the scream then laughter. They got tickled and giggled and giggled. Wonder what they thought. They didn't buy the "we were asleep" line either. But we were. Hope that didn't make anyone blush from their dirty mind. HaHa.

Another funny one. jump ahead about 6 or seven years. Nick was about four. It was about 3 am, he had gotten up in the middle of the night and was in our bed between us. I didn't know he was there. Again, awakened by screams- blood curdling screams this time. He was screaming "something is biting me!" I looked and there  was a sleeping Nicholas Ryan latched on the the tender under arm area of Rick's left arm. He was biting so hard his little (yeah, right) head was moving back and forth. I woke him (wink, wink) and he said he was dreaming he was eating a chicken leg and couldn't get the meat off. He did appear to be asleep..... he didn't get in trouble because of that....

Easter Sunday one year we had a family dinner. I think I posted this one a few posts back. I had seasoned the tenderloin (he called it long-lean) with thyme and oregano spices before I roasted it. It was "resting" before I sliced it. He came through and asked me why I didn't clean the pork before I cooked it. Everyone laughed!

Jump ahead to just a few years ago July fourth at Sandy and Jerry's annual picnic/fireworks. We were inside eating and Rick wanted more coke. He picked up the coke bottle and it fell to the floor-- spilled probably more than half on the rug. I'm laughing. He's embarrassed, I'm not making it easy for him at all. He picks it right up and drops it again. More laughter. He looked dead at me and so seriously said it's not funny! in as mean of a voice as he could muster. Everyone was looking at him. He went to grab a towel, got a strawberry one. Sandy and I screamed no at the same time. More laughter and his look was so serious. He said, well give me something! I busted out again. Everyone then joined in, including him. It was so funny! Good memories with good friends.       

I have said it before and will say it again. I miss him so much, but I wouldn't have him back here to suffer for anything in this world and one reason is I know he is in a better place. He is not suffering. He is not struggling for each and every breath. And if you came to the hospital while he was there, you know more than not his last 6 weeks was spent struggling for his breath even with the sedation on. I would not wish that on anyone. He didn't want it either. I cherish the March 4 so much. It was the best day we had of his last six weeks. I had high hopes of getting to bring him home. God had other plans but He saw fit to give us that day. Good memories even in a dreadful time. There is always something to be thankful for. Always. Sometimes you just have to look. I am going to post the words to Rick's favorite song and direct you to the you tube site where you can hear it if you chose. Go to youtube and search Bird Youmans Winner Either Way. The URL follows. If it doesn't create a link when I save/post it, copy and paste it to your bar at the top it will take you there. Noots sang this at his bedside just before he died. He sang it at prayer meeting November 25 and it became Rick's testimony. He sang it for him one last time at his funeral. I still love the song and have a bit of a difficult time hearing it. But it is a blessing every time I hear it. This man does an excellent job singing it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm-kudJbst0

I love all y'all

To be continued...........

WINNER EITHER WAY 
1) A LOVED ONE KNEW HE'D REACHED THE END OF LIFE'S JOURNEY, BUT HE'D BEEN HOLDING TO GOD'S HAND A LONG, LONG TIME AND AS I KNELT BESIDE HIS BED, MY HEART WAS THRILLED AT WHAT HE SAID," IF I GO, OR IF I STAY, THE VICTORY IS MINE." 
2) NONE OF US REALLY KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW, WE MUST PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN ANYDAY BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE LET'S TRUST THE LORD, HE'LL LEAD US SAFE TO OUR REWARD AND BY HIS GRACE, WE'LL BE A WINNER EITHER WAY 
CHORUS) I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.

November 26 on November 27

This is a difficult post tonight. I missed the 26th altogether -  it is actually the 27th. Today (27th)  Rick would have been 65 years old. I used to tease him about his age. He was 11 1/2 years older than me. He would call me old, and I would always reply that no matter how old I got, he was still older by over a decade. He would laugh. I didn't get home from work until almost 10 pm tonight. It was that busy. I am too tired to sleep. I had wanted to make a post every day of November. I guess the 27th will actually have 2 because I want to keep that as close as I can. And while it is still night, it is after midnight here in KY so I missed the 26th. So, technically, I guess I messed up. I said this already. I am tired and can't sleep. I am glad I am off tomorrow (or today). Hey, I was lucky. When I left, 3 others were still there charting. 

On the morning of the 26th, my thankful for post was that I was thankful for a good night's sleep. I hope I can say that again in the morning. 

Good night y'all.
I love all y'all!
To be continued.................

Happy Birthday in Heaven Ricky. I love you and I miss you!

November 25

Today my Thankful for post was: 

 Today I am thankful for the light of another day. I am thankful for my family and I am also thankful that today is Sunday. This is the day we all go to Nana's for breakfast! Yum!

And I am. I am very thankful for my family. All of them! I love my family. We are not perfect in any way, shape form or fashion and we don't claim to be. We have troubles like any other family. But we are family. We stick together. Period. That is what families do. Stick together. Today Greg brought in some old pictures. The following are photos of these pictures. When I know who is in them, I will comment.

On left in back is Papaw James mother, right is Aunt Mildred (his sister ), in front is her son C V Smith, and he is holding his nephew Joe Harvey Howard we believe.

Mammaw and Papaw James. Note he is in Khaki... look closely above his left eye to the side you will see a lump. Nick's lump is more to the side in his hair line, hidden by his hair. This is exactly who Nick described when he was in the accident.

from left: Bruce, me, holding Doug and Greg Easter 1965

We believe this to be a  family reunion at ?Capital Hill. Back row second from left is my mom Aleen James, Pap (Farrell James) is beside her. Mammaw is slightly in front of him, Porky (Pap's brother, Jimmie)  is beside him in line, unknown 3 ladies then Aunt Maggie in large print dress, unknown others in those rows. Redhead boy and girl unknown Papaw is seated in front of Mammaw. He has glasses and a green Khaki shirt. Man with glasses next to him is unknown. Greg and Bruce (my brothers) kneeling in front. 

Aunt Maggie, Papaw (Carl James), unknown other 3

Greg, me and Pap on Christmas morning. Looks like I was about two and a half, Greg would have been one and a half. Bruce would have been not born yet, but would be here in 3 days. Bet that is why mom isn't in a picture??

I love my family. I am thankful for each and every minute we have ever shared! I don't know what I would do without them. I cherish every minute we have ever spent together.  I will message my brother Doug to look at these pictures and to see if he knows any of them. I have other pictures, but my computer didn't want to cooperate today. 

I love all y'all!

To be continued.......

November 24

Today I am thankful for friends. Don't know what I would do without them!

It has been a good day. I have kept myself semi-occupied. Nick worked cleaning the garage and helping me with the Christmas decorations. I put up the tree today. I love Christmas. We always had a tradition of putting up our tree the first weekend after Thanksgiving that I had off from work. Now, though it was a tradition, boys and Val carried up all the stuff, I placed it. They watched. Rick's and my first tree had all blue lights on it. I used those lights for a couple of years, then I decided I liked all clear lights. So, from our first Christmas in Massachusetts we had clear lights. Last year, I put the tree up before Thanksgiving. My clear lights all burned out within 2 weeks. Color lights were all I could find to replace them with. Boo. I really love my clear lights.

There are 380 lights on this tree. It took longer to place the lights than anything else. So far Miss Luna has not tried to climb it. I hope she doesn't. She did play with the twist ties that came on the light strings. She went plum crazy chasing it all over the living room and kitchen.

This is my primitive tree that stays up all year. It currently has all my Mary's Angels from Hallmark. It still needs the 2012 angel. I have to get her still. I started collecting these while we still lived in Massachusetts. I have not missed even one, I did have to order one from Ebay, but I do have them all. It has 100 clear lights on it, I try to keep them on all the time but it is very difficult. Some strings don't last but a few weeks, some strings last 3 or 4 months. I love the ones that last for months!

Christmas time is one of my favorite times of the year. I love what the holiday stands for! I really don't like that people across the land have tried to take Jesus from Christmas. He is the reason we have the season in the first place. Had it not been for Him, we would not have a holiday to celebrate. Please keep that in your heart as you begin your holiday traditions, and please keep Him in your celebration!

I love all y'all! 

To be continued........

November 23

Rick and Tobers just about four months before the tumor was found. Doesn't look like he had less thank a year left does he? 

Three years ago today was a day a lot like this day, cool, cloudy.... Nick was cutting wood to fill an order, Rick was supposed to be helping him. At breakfast, Rick had told me again about the events of Sunday. How he'd had so much trouble ordering a baked potato. He was acting a little confused. He said he was OK, but he was having some trouble talking to me. It was about mid morning when I found him sitting in the dark on the bed with his hat and coat on, arms folded. He went on outside to help Nick but he never made it to Nick. I am not sure where he went. I think it was up to the store to have coffee.  He made a trip or two back to the house. When he came in around one, he sat on the couch. He picked up the remote and looked at it like he didn't know what it was. He couldn't talk to me. All he could say was he was OK. His mom had died from complications from a brain bleed. I was afraid he had one going on. I called Nick into the house. He had just a few EMT classes left. They had just done the stroke scale, so I asked him to help me. I was afraid. He could do everything except touch his nose and my finger then his nose again.

I told him he had to go to the ER. He said NO! I told him he had to. He told me NO! I called Dr Phillips who he thought a lot of. He said take him anyway. I told him he had a choice of how he went. He could go in an ambulance or I could take him. He went with me. I called my friend Paula who at that time worked ER. They were waiting for us. They had him in CT very quickly. When Rusty brought him back to me, he would not look at me and got out of the room quickly. I knew it was something bad, but I was still thinking brain bleed. I wish. I never dreamed it would be a tumor. ER doc came in, saw me and went back out. He came back in in a couple of minutes. He then proceeded to kick us in the chest with cleats. That is the only description of how it felt when he said you have a mass in your brain, it is big. I think it's cancer but I don't know for sure. Tears were in his eyes. He said his brain was swollen and had shifted quite a bit.

scan with a frontal lobe lesion with shift

normal ct scan

I gave him the name of someone to call in Nashville and a number to call him at. It was Dr Carl Hampf at the Howell-Allen Clinic. Dr Hampf is an excellent brain surgeon. When I worked at Baptist, people came from all over the world to see him. He was very surprised that I had taken Rick to the ER with the vagueness of the symptoms. He was also surprised that he had not had a seizure from the size of the tumor. He was pretty sure it was a glioblastoma multiforme. GBM. He thought stage III or stage IV likely. But removing the tumor and pathology would tell. This was on a Monday. On Wednesday, he let me bring Rick home for the holiday. We would go back to Nashville on December 1 for the surgery. He was on high dose steroids. He hated the steroids.

I miss him more than you could know. Every day. But if he couldn't be cured and have a normal life, he didn't want to stay. He wanted to go on. We abided by his wishes. As difficult as it was, he said he was a winner either way it went. And he was. I have regrets. I have wishes. But I know we did all for him we could. We tried everything available. In the end, blood clots to his lungs were the final cause of his death. These were a complication of the cancer and the blood disorder he already had.



All of Rick's sisters and his brother were dear to him. The three sisters above, Beverly, Teresa and Sue came and stayed with him at the hospital every day. Someone was there. They stayed lots of nights. Five out of the six weeks he was in the hospital, many nights/week one of the three would stay with him after the first week there. The only times I let them stay were when he was stable. Some nights he was so unstable, I couldn't leave him. I don't know what I would have done without them.

There were so many others who were there on a frequent basis. I didn't even have to say anything. If he wasn't doing well and I needed someone, they were there. I couldn't have made it without them either. And Brother Joe, hospital Chaplain. What can I say about him. He checked on us often. He came on Sundays after church to check on Rick. I always knew he had been there if I was out of the room. And the ICU and CRSH nurses were wonderful.

I love all y'all!
To be continued........

November 22

Today is November 22. It is also Thanksgiving Day. It is also the third anniversary of what we didn't know at the time was the beginning of an amazing, life altering journey. It was 3 years ago today that Rick couldn't order or say baked potato. While I was worried, I just thought he was overtired or something simple. Little did I know.....

7/3/1985

11/26/2009

   


Today is also another family anniversary. It was November 22, 1984 that Aunt Valaria passed away. She was my mom's sister and my daughter was named after her. Her daughter Jill and Jill's oldest son, Shane spent the day with us at my mom's. We had a very good dinner and a great time! We laughed while remembering past events. I laughed til I cried a couple of different times today. I had just met Rick a few weeks before Aunt Val passed away. She was a special lady. Loved her dearly! We told a few stories about her too.

It has been a good day. Very Thankful to have been a part of it!

I love all y'all!
To be continued.........

November 21 Do you believe in Angels?

Today's thankful for post was that I was thankful for being on call, I will now have a few days off! I can't imagine they will call me in at this point in the day! Yay!

I was watching a tv show today that was talking about angels. I wonder how many people actually do believe in angels. I do. I have almost seen what I can only describe as an angelic being that I only caught a quick glimpse of. It made such an impression on me. I know my co-workers didn't believe me. Many people reading this likely won't believe it either. But it's as true as can be. Our unit was 14 beds, seven on a side. I was the only one on the back side one day during lunch. Several rooms were empty, and I was at the desk charting. Out of the corner of my good eye, I caught a glimpse of this billowing beautiful peaceful image. I can only describe it as angelic. When I actually turned to see what was there, there was nothing there. The patient was unresponsive and had been for many days. She woke that afternoon in time for visiting time. She got to tell her daughters good bye. True story from many years ago.

Mind you, this, of course is not the same thing I saw, but the imagery is the same. The billowing , the brightness, the light was very similar. You tell me. I was wide awake!

Another instance of angels in our lives was when Nick was six years old. He went fishing on Sunday before Memorial Day. There was an accident. He was completely submerged except for his little hand sticking up out of the water and he was trapped. He was there several seconds-like 2 or 3 minutes worth. Rick had to drive the truck off him. First thing he said to his dad was: "Daddy, I don't need CPR!" Now, if that isn't the child of a nurse. But seriously, Rick threw him in the truck and brought him to me. I met them at the end of the road and took Nick on to the ER. His clothes were shredded off him. He was bleeding from his knee. He told me on the way to the hospital that he knew he would be OK, that his guardian angel was with him and told him he would be OK. He proceeded to describe my Papaw James to a tee. To my knowledge, Nick has never to this day ever seen a picture of Papaw. He described his bald head, the knot on the side of his head (Nick has one just like it). He described Khaki clothes. Papaw always wore Khaki.

When Rick was very near death several years before the tumor, he had a bowel obstruction. Norma was with us at the hospital. Rick was very, very sick. There was just a peaceful, calmness that came by while we were waiting for the nurses to take care of him. He was a lost man at that time. It would be 3 more years before he would be saved in his garden. He felt the calm too.

The Bible is full of scripture referring to angels. God said He never changes. So, if there were angels then, why not now?

I believe. Do you? You don't have to believe. One day we will know for sure.

Please remember those in your prayers that need to be remembered. Remember me. I will remember you.

I love all y'all!

To be continued......

It's late!

Having trouble sleeping tonight. Hoping for call tomorrow. We had 4 empty beds when I left! If I can get call, I won't have to go back in until Monday. I'm hoping. We will see. I know, I was complaining about getting call just a few days ago.... some days I can't get it right. HaHaHa.

Today my thankful for post was the snooze button on the alarm. I hit it 3 or 4 times this morning. Just didn't wanna wake up this morning. Don't have a clue why, I slept fairly well last night. Maybe I will sleep good tonight if I can just get there.

Thanksgiving is in 24 and a half hours. I hope each of you who reads this has a very blessed Thanksgiving!

I love all y'all!
To be continued.............

Thankful

I am thankful for God, my Church, family, friends, job, food on my table, roof over my head, clothes to wear, shoes, warm place to sleep, medicine, health, memories, good times and bad, all the "events" in my life- they have made me who I am today, TV to watch, the Thankful For Facebook posts and all those who are participating, holidays, Christmas-time, grandbabies, my kids, Rick's son and his family, that we lived in the different places we lived, friends I have met on Facebook who I never would have known had it not been for Facebook, my Keurig, coffee, Coke Zero, our dentist, my doctors, the list goes on and on and on......

                                        

Cousins, neighborhood friends, playing out until dark, Barbies, playing Lost in Space, throwing a "Frisbee" at Doug, do you still have the scar? Memories of cheer leading in seventh and eighth grade, my uniform is still at Mom's, that I was raised where and when I was by who raised me, my grandparents, ice cream from the freezer in the entry hall at Mammaw James' house, all my "uncles" on my dad's side (blood, there is only one, but many good family friends/cousins who are/were like family), running Greg's head through a glass door (supposed to hit the wood part, he raised up too soon), the Dunn's who bought the store from Lelan and Jean, my first car... a 1963 black 2 door Ford Mercury  Big old car. My uncle gave it to me. 

This isn't the car but a close resemblance. The back window rolled down. It was electric. It was a great car. I sold it to Bobby Webb so he could race it when I started to nursing school. 

I just knew the lid to this thing would make a great Frizbee..... it didn't. 

Donny Osmond, 45's, Beatles, LP's (later called albums), Tiger Beat, Emergency!, Hee Haw, the Walton's, Dallas, Knotts Landing, Andy Griffith, Happy Days, 

Pray. Remember those who need remembering in your prayers. 

I love all y'all!

To be continued......