Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Ten months ago

It has been ten months since my last post. I didn't realize that. It is very difficult to post from my phone and I cannot post from my tablet. My laptop charger cord was eaten by one of the mutts. Val got a new laptop and I am using it.

A lot has happened in 10 months. My dad has had a stroke, it wasn't very severe thankfully; but a stroke is brain loss. It has affected his walking somewhat. That is better now though. It has also affected his personality and memory a little I think. That is just me though. He will see a neurologist next week. 

Mom has recovered nicely from her fractured femur from last March. However, the C word is now in her vocabulary. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks ago.  We have seen the oncologist. She will see the surgeon this Friday. Prayers are appreciated. We are traveling an unknown path right now.

My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) had esophageal cancer. It has been difficult. They live in Ohio so we didn't get to be there for them as much as we wanted to. We did send up prayers on their behalf though. She has been given a clean bill of health. No sign of cancer at this time! Her feeding tube was removed and she can eat normally. It was scary for a time. And still on the back of our minds is the ever looming worry that it will come back. That is where faith comes in!

Another sister-in-law (Rick's sister) has COPD. For all you non medical readers that is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease similar to emphysema.  Her breathing is really bad. She was given the option to receive a lung transplant. They looked into it and decided against it. A few months ago she was on the ventilator and made the decision to have the tube removed and not replaced. We were all there and she was not expected to survive. They removed the tube and she did well. God had other plans. He is not finished with her. She recovered slowly and went to rehab for a time and still goes as an outpatient for rehab. Her husband Tom is very supportive of her and her sisters and brother are as well. They are available to her at any time.

I have been very lax in thanking God for His many blessings over our family. He has blessed us so many times. I forget to thank Him. I just don't seem to be able to take the time to give Him the time He deserves. I find time to watch Star Trek. I find time to watch Law and Order and Blue Bloods. Seems like I should find time to talk to Him a little more.
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My grandchildren are growing like weeds. When I get my laptop back I will post pictures.

I think this is enough for one post.

I love all y'all. ❤️
To be continued.............

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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Saying Goodbye to a Generation


Today my dad and I said goodbye to Aunt Mary. She was my grandmothers youngest sister. The baby of that family. Her parents were my great grandparents. Aunt Mary was a schoolteacher like 2 of her sisters and one of her brothers. Uncle Charles (her husband) has been gone for many years. I remember when he died, I just don't remember how long that it has been. I'd venture to say over 40 years though. She never remarried. They had 2 children, a son, John David Bowles, and a daughter Nancy Withers. John David and Nancy are a little older than me, but not by a lot. I hadn't seen them in quite some time. Aunt Mary was just 8 1/2 years older than my dad. Ma and Pa Bird had 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. They were in sets of 3. Mammaw James was 13 years old when Aunt Norma Lee was born. Norma was number 4. Each set had 2 girls and a boy with the boy in the middle. I can remember the Bird Homecomings first at Mammoth Cave then at Capitol Hill. The last 20 or so years there have only been 2 or 3, and they were at the community center in Brownsville. The Stices also came to that homecoming. Ma Bird was a Stice. "Billy Hill" near Green River at Houchens Ferry was named after her father, Billy Stice. 

I remember Aunt Mary coming to visit many times as I was growing up. She and my dad were a lot like siblings rather than Aunt/nephew being only 8 years apart. He used to tease her about her age.  One time, my dad had lost his wedding band fishing somewhere in hart county. A hart county fisherman had found it and placed an ad in the local paper there listing the inscription inside the ring. Uncle Charles saw the ad, had her call and it was his ring! They retrieved it for him and we rode up to Munfordville to pick it up. 


This picture belongs to my cousin Jo Ann Collins. I know she won't mind that I used it. She reads this blog sometimes as does her sister Linda. Aunt Norma Lee and Aunt Mary. Aunt Mary is on the right. Not sure when this was taken. They were both at the funeral home when Ricky passed away. He had met both of them several times over our 25 years together. Both are gone now. I will miss them.

Hold your loved ones close. You never know when the pale horseman will ride by.  

Psalm 116King James Version (KJV)116 I love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow.Then called I upon the name of the Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.The Lord preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.10 I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted:11 I said in my haste, All men are liars.12 What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits toward me?13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord.14 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.16 Lord, truly I am thy servant; I am thy servant, and the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds.17 I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and will call upon the name of the Lord.18 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.19 In the courts of the Lord's house, in the midst of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the Lord.
The preacher read this today. He stressed upon verse 15. It is precious to be witness to the final minutes and passing from life unto eternal life. It truly is. 

That is all for now. 

I love all y'all. ❤️
To be continued........

Saturday, June 4, 2016

I let it get away



After my computer got very sick, I kind of got away from writing much in my blog. Mostly, that was because it is quite difficult to blog from a tablet or tiny iPhone than it is from my laptop. Now, that obstacle is overcome, so I hope to be back to writing regularly. Even if there are only a few who read it, it helps me to write. So, I will write.

There is so much going on right now. I am not able to write about it, but I do pray about it. Its not easy to do though. There's so much I don't understand about it. I ask for your prayers, God knows all about it already. I will write about it when I am free to do so. Know that in this life, everything is not always as it seems! There are always 2 sides to everything. Usually, the truth is somewhere in between! Bad, bad things happen to good people. That doesn't make the person bad! We are quick to label people and blame when we don't know the whole truth. Remember that. Mild, meek people can be snakes in the grass!! It's our job to pray for them! Not blame or ridicule or gossip about! But, we are human! We just have to remember what gossip does! 

gos·sip
ˈɡäsəp/
noun
  1. 1.
    casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

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I have definitely been guilty of gossip. No denying it. One thing I learned, it hurts everyone involved. Everyone. I have been hurt by it. Both ends of it. One time I was in the cafeteria at City-County Hospital. I was working with a new nurse who was quite bossy. She was new to our hospital. I had been there on that floor almost two years already. She had put in her transfer for the ICU and had been accepted. The ICU girls were asking me how I liked her. I told them. THEN I saw her husband was one table over. I don't know if he heard me. Pretty sure he did, he never even blinked to let me know he did. Never acted differently towards me. But, I am pretty sure he did. I felt so guilty, even though what I told them was true by my perception of her. I should have kept it to myself. Then, there's the guilt of the person gossiping about you. Their guilt gets to them and they apologize. But, you didn't know about it and now you are hurt because they were talking about you and you didn't know because they are nice to you to your face. Their apology did a lot to lighten their load. But, what did it do to you? You didn't know about it so you weren't hurt. After they confessed to you, you knew. How do you get past knowing. It hurts to know. I'd just as soon not know personally. 

                    Proverbs 6:16-19
16 These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Here is a song by Disturbed. David Draiman is the lead singer. They are a metal/hard rock band. But, listen to the words of this song. Just listen.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=11&v=_LypjOTTH6E

Also, listen to this one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4

Have a blessed day!
I love all y'all!❤️
To be continued...........

Monday, January 25, 2016

So much snow

I had to work the weekend so because of the coming snow, I went Thursday night. I had a warm room, sort of a bed and a TV. And a bathroom down the hall. Couldn't ask for more. I got to come home late Saturday afternoon. We had 13 inches of snow here! Today was 50 degrees. Its melting. Yay.

38 years ago it was worse. I was in LPN school in Glasgow. We were stuck there like 3 weeks. No calling in there! The weather is weird sometimes. I remember the winter of 1977 too. I was supposed to graduate high school at mid term. It was mid February before we got out. I'd rather have the normal mild winters!

Its almost 11:30 pm. I can't sleep. The past few nights I've dreamt about Rick. I suppose its because its the time if year it is. 6 years Wednesday morning was the last time he was able to talk to me. That breathing tube went in and never came back out. It hurts to see him in the dreams.

Maybe Ill be distracted enough this week I won't think too much about it.

I think its all.

I love all y'all.
To be continued.....

Monday, January 18, 2016

Feelings

In just 5 short days, another anniversary will pass. Its one I wish I didn't have. January 23 2010 was the last hours ever my husband was in our home. The home we built together. The home we planned together. The one we worked so hard for. The one our children grew up in. The only home Nick can remember. In the late afternoon that day he was so sick and obviously oxygen hungry he let me call an ambulance. His next ride would be 6 weeks later in a funeral home van. That day was a whirlwind. That morning he walked to the car to go to the Dr. By the time we got there it was all I could to to get him in a wheelchair to get him inside. By the time we called the ambulance, he couldn't walk. He was too weak and had such trouble breathing. When EMS arrived, his oxygen was so low they took him with lights and siren blaring. I was more afraid than when we found the tumor. Long story short (and already in a previous post) blood clots to his lungs - multiple. Complications from them took his life. He had one of those filters placed on January 24 but kept having the clots.

I miss him more than you ever could know unless you've lost a spouse too. Then you know. I overheard it said once that losing a sibling was worse. You could get another spouse but you can't get more siblings. That person never lost a spouse. I have all my siblings so I can only imagine. And I imagine it hurts. Perspective I guess. And I'd imagine a different kind of pain.

Last week Nick and I went through the shelf of canned food. We found a few cans of the vegetable soup Rick and I had canned.  We will enjoy it this winter! We thought it was all gone. I was secretly hoping to find salsa. Not that lucky. That soup was every bit as good as I remembered. The memories were so fresh. I almost expected to hear Rick say "fix me something" the way he always did.

These next few weeks will be sad. But I will be fine.

Jeremiah 29:11King James Version (KJV)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

King James Version (KJV)

I love all y'all.
To be continued........

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Its a new year

So today I realized its been months since I wrote anything. So much has happened.  Its a whirlwind sometimes. My grandbabies are not babies. The two older ones are in school. Hearing October read is amazing. Perry hasn't read for me. He gets embarrassed when I ask. He is still my boy. Miss Livvy is four now. She will be in school before we know it.

I am having a very hard time right now. All I want to do is cry sometimes. Like right now. Im home alone watching football with tears streaming and these words are blurred from the tears. My oldest turned 30 two days ago.  How can that be. Then I realize in 4.5 months I will be 57. Really? 57! That means in 2 months my mom will be 77.  Im blessed to still have both parents. And blessed they're as healthy as they are! We received news this week a close family member has throat cancer. We do not know specifics yet and Im not at liberty to disclose who yet. But prayers for easy treatment and a cure are highly requested.  God does know who and the outcome. I pray its His will for a cure. And though I haven't been to church in quite a while, I do still pray several times a day, I can still hear that small, still voice saying "trust Me!" and I still do!

I love all y'all!
To be continued.....

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Thirty seven years ago

Its been thirty seven + years since a naive nineteen year old started on a most difficult, rewarding journey that has caused tears, joy, pain, sadness..... There is no other job on this earth I'd rather do. I often learn new things - even after all these years. Most of my Co-workers including my manager could be by children.  Sometimes the younger ones scoff at my comments. I've seen so much over the years. But when they have questions, they ask! I feel like I've helped raise many of them.

This thing with The View hosts is absurd. They are obviously uneducated about what nurses really do. We are not there to "serve" anyone. We are there to provide the best care that is evidence based that is possible. And, to deliver that care in a kind and caring manner. We are college educated. We have a minimum of a 2 year degree with many a 4 or more year degree. Most in my unit are also certified in critical care. All nurses in my unit also have advanced life saving certifications and many are competent in several adjuncts to care such as Intra Aortic Balloon Pump management, Impella management, as well as Continuous Renal Replacement Therapy as well as the ability to manage critical drips. Dr's do insert these devices and give orders for parameters they want to meet, but its the nurse who is at the bedside 24 hours a day. Holiday weekend storm ice or snow. We go when the postman won't.

I wrote most of this back in the fall when the view hosts insulted my profession. I believe none of them would last an hour following me. They ignored my (and numerous other nurses) challenge to shadow me for a day.

Im done for now.
To be continued......