Saturday, October 29, 2011

Just what do you think this verse means!

Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:" (KJV)
Oh, on a Saturday night 42 years ago at a little place called Stockholm God gave me this most precious gift. I have mistreated it and yet He forgives me. I put my busy life ahead of Him often. Yet He forgives me. He made a promise to me December 24, 2008 just before midnight that he would give that same gift to my Tobi Rose if I live for Him. And He put challenges in front of me and I falter and He forgives me. What a wonderful, merciful God He is!

If I had not known Rick had received this great gift in May 2002, I don't know........

I love all y'all. If you haven't received this great gift for yourself, I beg you to seek after it before it is too late!

To be continued............

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Just what does "til death do us part" mean?

In this life we were given an amazing gift. The ability to love. There are many, many definitions of the word. It can be used as a noun or a verb. Two of the definitions are:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Then there is happiness which is described in the online dictionary as:
Good luck; Good fortune; prosperity. It is also described/defined as: an agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from the prosperity of any kind. There are many, many more definitions as with love. One difference is that happiness is found within. Another person can not make one happy. It is not possible. If I depend on someone else for my own happiness, then I am at their mercy. Seriously. If I depended on Rick for my happiness (and I did for years and was miserable) I would be at the mercy of his mood, his self-worth, his everything. And in our early years, I thought that I had to make him happy. He is the one who taught me that I had to find happiness within myself. And he had to do the same, then we could be happy together. We needed to have a common goal together to reach for. And a plan to reach that goal together. But we each had to take care of our own happiness. I don't know if this is understood or not.

Our first picture together married July 3, 1985

One of the last pictures we made together (late January 2010) -- ever! I miss him more than you can know unless you have been through this! The baby is my great nephew, Thomas.

I, Myra, take you Richard, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. And he said the same words to me.
I said those words, I meant them. We had some rough years together, but through it all we stood together. His last 8 years were the best years we had. I would not trade any of it for anything! I could tell you stories, some of which might cause your hair to curl. Sometimes you would wonder why I stayed with him. I loved him then, the first time I met him, and I loved him the last breath he took. I love him today I miss him more than anyone could ever know. I still hear him shuffle thorough the house. I still hear him say "Myra" from the kitchen because he couldn't find something he was looking for. I still dream about him. I still have his phone on so I can hear his voice. I may never turn it off. You might think that is silly. I am not ready to turn it off. That's all. If you are reading this and are confused by my writing, it makes perfect sense to me. And this is my blog about my feelings regarding the illness and death of my husband and my life before, during and after. You don't have to agree, or even understand. I do. My point to all this is: if you are in a relationship and you are unhappy, then YOU must do something about it. Divorce is easy. Staying and working on it is hard. AND the most worthwhile thing you will ever do! IF YOU WANT IT!!!! The grass looks greener on the other side, until you get over there, then you find it was really artificial turf all along. Then the fence is too high to get back over. Be careful what you wish for, you might get it and have regrets!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I found some older pictures looking in family FB albums

I found some old pictures looking through families facebook pictures. Here are some of them:

Rick and Nick at Nick's graduation

Rick in front of one section of his massive garden, probably the summer before the tumor was found

Rick and me at ?Beverly's or Teresa's on a weekend or a holiday.

Rick and Jerry Smith sitting at our table about 10 years ago at one of our fish fry's.

The last Sunday morning breakfast shared with Rick
His favorite was Nana's "cathead biscuits" as he called them.

My 50th birthday. He, friends and family pulled off a surprise party. Rick was getting a little forgetful. This was May before the tumor was found in November. We just thought he was so tired from that huge garden!

Rick took this picture of Val and Tobi, me and my dad as a four generation picture. This was taken on Tobi's first birthday October 14, 2009. He would be diagnosed with the tumor about 6 weeks later.
I will leave you with this verse:
Exodus 15:2
2 The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
He is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will exalt Him
Please remember your friends and loved ones in your prayers. Please remember all those who are struggling to get by in every way they are struggling. Keep your loved ones close and let them know they are loved.

It is just 6 more days until the "post something you are thankful for every day" challenge begins. I will remind you again.....

I love all y'all!
To be continued..........

Monday, October 24, 2011

Aurora Borealis

Did you see it? It was beautiful and I would have missed it if Nick hadn't called me. The sky was glowing red towards the north. It was the Aurora Borealis AKA Northern Lights. It was absolutely beautiful! And it was only the second or third time in my entire life I have seen it! Thanks Nick!

If the internet is correct, we may get a second change tomorrow night. We shall see.

I will leave you with this verse tonight:
Psalms 37: 3-5

3Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

4Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

I ask y'all to continue to remember my family in your prayers. My cousin has breast cancer, the surgery was today. Lymph nodes at first look are negative, which is excellent news!

I love all y'all!
To be continued.......

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Bubba is 2!!

This was Perry Dale Suttle, Jr on October 22, 2009

October 22, 2009 was the day I became "Gamma" for the second time. My most precious boy Perry Dale Jr was born. AKA Bubba. He seemed so tiny and fragile compared to his sister. He looks peaceful in the photo above. He is my boy. He loves his Gamma, and he loves to bite me!

Bubba on his first birthday with "aunt Selena"

This is my Bubba today!

He doesn't remember his papaw at all. He isn't sure who the pictures are but we tell him anyway. Rick never got to bond with him. He was born just one month before the tumor was found. It was a difficult and scarey time. They just never really got to be together. Bubba was just 6 weeks old when Rick had the surgery for the tumor and 3 months old when Papaw went to the hospital never to come home again and because of rules, the babies didn't get to see him. I think Tobi would have been afraid of the tubes and wires. Bubba was too little.

The babies had a joint birthday party last week, so there were not many special events today. I did get a little hug from Bubba tonight, but mostly he just wanted to bite me. He is into that right now. Gotta break that little annoying habit! He is my boy though!

I love my grandbabies! And I remember a promise give me by the Lord above on Christmas eve 2008. I just need to get my act together!

I love all y'all!
To be continued.................

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I'd never have thought

I would never have thought I would "run into" an old friend on facebook. Back when I was in elementary school, a family moved into the ranger station at Maple Springs (within Mammoth Cave National Park boundaries). They were a family of six, parents, 2 girls and 2 boys. The boys were the oldest and youngest. I used to babysit Wiley. He was the baby. Anyway, Warren was the oldest and my baby brother and he were close to the same age, and they were friends and found each other on facebook, and I happened to comment on a post of Doug's and Warren did too, facebook makes the world a bit smaller. :)

I ran into Debbie (Bro. Cecil's wife) today. She said her mom is doing better than they had hoped for! Keep praying!

I have a lot on my mind. I know, that is a difficult concept. But I do. I am working through some things. I will get it straightened out!

I am wondering why I am scheduled to work tomorrow. I really try not to work on Wednesdays so I can go to church. I must have done that by accident.

I have a loose tooth/crown. I will have to call the dentist tomorrow and try to be seen on Thursday. I hate going to the dentist, though my dentist is great!

Psalm 92


2To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,

3Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound.

Goodnight! I love all y'all!

To be continued.............

WVFD hay ride and Haunted House is now every
Friday and Saturday night through October 29

13 days until Halloween...

37 Days until Thanksgiving!

67 days until Christmas Day!
Just in case you need updating.....

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Where to start!

This has been a long, difficult week. There have been several obstacles in my path. Sometimes, I don't know how to clear them. Last Wednesday night at prayer meeting, last night at church and today at church, then again tonight at church things that were said by the preachers were just so tied together. I have been hiding my light under a bushel for quite a while. I am trying to let it shine, it is just so hard sometimes. I know that it is there, I just let it hide for almost 2 years now. I know how to get back where I was, I just need to get off my seat and do it.

Have you ever listened to the words of the songs we sing in Church? I don't mean learn the words....I mean really listen to the words, hear the meaning of the words, not just sing them? For years I did just that. I liked the songs, learned the songs, just never really payed attention to the words, what the song is saying.......such as:
in Amazing Grace --
"when we've been there ten thousand years bright shining as the sun we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun.
Oh, I know one way to look at it is that when we get to Heaven it will be a never ending day.....another way to look at it is while we have been there ten thousand years all the souls who did not choose to trust in Him, who never were saved, will be in that awful place ten thousand years too....and it will be as they just begun too. And what if I failed to do or say something that might have helped just one person to trust Him and escape that awful place. It is an awesome responsibility that we, as Christians, have to hold up the ways of God in front of others so that we might help one person who might have otherwise been down that broad road of destruction instead of that narrow way. Brother Steven used to say "pray til you pray" and I can honestly say I have not done that in a long time.

Matthew 5:13-16

King James Version (KJV)

13Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

14Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

15Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

16Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Today it was said if something was in our way that kept us from reaching power with God, then we needed to get that something out of our way. I need to work on that. I will work on that.

It is just a little over 2 weeks until November arrives. Remember, I suggest that we post something as our status from November 1 until Thanksgiving Day that we are thankful for. I am thinking about it. I will remind you again.

I love all y'all!
To be continued..........

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

One of those long days........

Yesterday was meeting day, and I started and turned around and came back home, just didn't feel well. Today I got up, got dressed and was going to meet my sister in law at her appointment. Nick came in just as I was about to go and needed to go to the ER. He has been having symptoms that look like it's his gall bladder for 2 or 3 years (or more). Today, he went in and that is what it is, so he has an appointment next Wednesday with Dr. Wierson at the clinic. Don't know a surgery date yet, but I don't think it will be too long. He has been hurting, and I can tell you that is pain that is difficult to take. I thought labor would be bad, it didn't compare to gall bladder pain! At least with labor, you get a baby out of it.

So, in 2 days October Rose Suttle will be 3 years old! I can't believe it! She talks like she is a big girl. She knows so many words! She does like to pinch now. She likes to bite too!

October Rose (Tobi) at a few days old

Tobi, Papaw and Mommy on her first birthday.

Tobi last night. She was gonna sleep with Gamma, but decided
to go to her own bed. She just wanted to play.

She has grown so much! She is definitely not a baby anymore! Just ask her, she will tell you she is a big girl! I will never forget her first Christmas. She spent Christmas eve with us, she slept right beside me in her playpen, I slept on the couch. At midnight, I was talking it over with the Lord and He promised he would save her when her time came if I hold Him up. I am trying my best to do that. I fail at it, and He forgives me. That baby is so precious. Last night I patted her tummy. I asked her what was there, she said sugar, I asked her whose it was, she said Papaw's. I doubt she can remember him, she was just 6 weeks older than the middle picture when the tumor was diagnosed and 17 months old when he died. But she will see his picture and say "that's my papaw". So sweet.

Please remember Rick's family in your prayers. His sisters and brother lost their only remaining Sanders Aunt this week. Her funeral is Friday at Patton's. Her name was Inez Parsley. She was a sweet heart. Rick loved her very much! When Carlos was in the hospital with his aneurysm surgery and we didn't know if he would make it, she was right there, though, she wasn't in the best of health. When Carlos came home with the lung cancer, she and Delta (another sister who died just before Rick and is buried a plot or two from him) came to see him. He had coffee with them and a long talk earlier in the day of the day he died.

Tonight I will leave you with this:
Psalms 13:5-6
But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
I will sing unto the LORD, because He hath dealt bountifully with me.
19 days to Halloween, 43 days to Thanksgiving, 73 days until Christmas AND 2 days to the second weekend of WVFD Hay ride and Haunted House! Bet you thought I forgot......

Y'all have a blessed rest of the week. remember each other in prayer. remember those who have lost loved ones, those who have loved ones in the hospital with minor AND major illnesses, remember those who just need our prayers. I know I need the prayers of those I love........

I love all y'all!
To be continued............

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Worry is a lack of faith

"Worry is a lack of faith" was one of Ricky's favorite things to say. Even after the tumor was diagnosed and staged and we were given the outcome probabilities, he still said it. A cousin posted tonight that "Worry does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace!" and that statement could not be more true! It does steal all the peace you could feel if we could learn to put our trust in Him, that He has a greater plan and we have to find comfort in it, and conform to it. "It is what it is" and we will have to accept that whatever the situation, it is what it is. We have to learn to deal with it, a very, very difficult lesson I had to learn. I was so afraid. The night Rick died was so hard. I didn't want to leave him so Patton's could come in and get him. But through the love and support of dear friends and family, we all made it through. It has been very difficult, and in about 7 weeks, we will mark the second anniversary of the tumor being found. I digress.

I learned last night after posting that a cousin (I have a zillion, and I love them all) has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I have not a clue the stage or what the plans are yet, but I do know she is a fighter. It was her daughter that posted about the worry......please remember them all in your prayers.

Darlene texted today that Raven was resting well, awaiting further testing to see where they are with the Chemo. Please remember them in your prayers.

Marilyn called from Washington state today. Her mom's service will be at a later date. She has chosen cremation, a memorial service will be planned. Please remember that family in your prayers as well. Marilyn just lost her dad recently and her husband has been sick as well.

It seems like everywhere you turn, there is somebody going through a trial. That is why we need to remember each other in prayer, lift up each other to the Lord. I know I fail in that so much! I am trying to do better.

The month of October marks several events: Breast Cancer Awareness (did you know it can be one of the most curable cancers when caught in time? Have you had your mammogram yet? Do you check for lumps every month? Why not? Don't think if you don't feel for anything, nothing will happen!); Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day October 15; Domestic Violence Awareness Month just to name a few.

With everything going on it is difficult not to worry! The Bible teaches us not to worry.
Matthew 6:34
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
If I could just learn to trust in Him and lean on Him for everything, not just when I am in need, but every day! I am trying!

I love all y'all!
To be continued............

WVFD hay ride and Haunted House is now every
Friday and Saturday night through October 29

22 days until Halloween...

46 Days until Thanksgiving!

76 days until Christmas Day!
Just in case you need updating.....

Just thought y'all needed to keep up with these dates...........

Saturday, October 8, 2011

October is well underway!

The first week of October is already gone, we are in the second week already! I can hardly believe it! It has been quite a year! Still a lot on our plate, but it's getting closer. Hopefully some things will be put to rest.

The WVFD hay ride and haunted house started last night. Seemed to have a decent turnout for the first weekend. I had to work, and next weekend I will also work on Friday and we have church on the weekend. I doubt I will have much time to be there. On Sunday the 16th we begin taking turns bringing the preacher and his wife/family to our homes. I get to go first. :) Have no idea what I will fix, but I am sure it will be OK! Everyone will bring food too, so there should be ample food to eat! We always enjoyed having people come home with us. Rick always loved it. He wanted to cook fish all the time. He was good at it too! The next weekend after that, I work again, then I will be off on Saturday night for the last one. Don't know if I will be helping out with it or not. We will see I guess.

Last night I got to spend some time with someone who just moved into our neighborhood. I've known her for several years just as an acquaintance so to speak, but over the past few months have gotten to know her better and I can call her my friend now--not that I couldn't before mind you, but I know her a bit better. We talked for quite a while last night. She has been though some difficult experiences, but as He always does, God has opened some marvelous doors for her and she walked through them and it is awesome! It is wonderful to sit back and watch God work in peoples lives and know that they know it is from Him and watch them be so thankful for what He has granted them! I love it! It warms my heart to see that and to be a part of it, albeit from the sidelines for some of it, but it is wonderful to watch and feel! And believe me, when you see God working in someone's life and you see and feel and see that they are aware of what is happening and you can see the gratitude--how it beams from them--it is amazing and you know that God is an awesome presence. If we just let Him, He will lead us in every aspect of our lives. But we have to let Him lead us! We have to be willing to turn it all over to Him! Something we, as human beings have some degree of difficulty! I have a lot of work to do in that aspect of my life! I am working on it, I just have a ways to go!
Psalm 37:5
5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
I love the Psalms! The songs of King David! There are some beautiful messages in the Psalms! Please remember to mention each other in prayer, remember the ones who have lost loved ones and the ones who have loved ones in serious/critical condition. Love each other, be kind, and please let those you love know that you do love them. You never know when it will be your last time to see them.

I love all y'all!
To be continued...........

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sometimes I forget

Sometimes I forget to thank God for all He has done for me over the years, and I could thank Him every second of every minute of every day 365 days a year and if I lived to be 100 years old, I wouldn't be able to put a dent in what I owe Him. I don't serve Him nearly enough! I don't thank Him even a fraction of enough. Beginning November first and going through the Thanksgiving season, I want to challenge everyone who reads this blog to put as your facebook status something every day that you are thankful to God for. Try not to use the same thing twice, think about it. We have our health, our roof over our head, food to eat, a car to drive, a job, friends, family, God, our salvation, our children and grandchildren, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, our parents, spouse.....the trials and life altering events, the sicknesses, the injuries, all those have gone to making us who we are today. It is not the life changing events themselves that make us who we are, it is how we deal with them that make us who we are. Start thinking about your list......I will remind us again on facebook....

We had prayer meeting tonight. We were few in number, but we had a good service, a few heartfelt testimony's and a few good songs ..... we did the best we could for sure. I am thankful for my church and my church family! I do miss folks when they are not there.

Here is a song to leave you with. It's words have great meaning for me. I hope you have heard it, and I hope if you haven't heard it, you will you tube it to get the tune. I love the song.
So Much To Thank Him For
























I love all y'all!
To be continued..........

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Prayers needed please!

I ask for prayers for someone close to me. My work friend, Darlene has a granddaughter with leukemia. She was diagnosed with this at the same time Rick was in ICU for 6 weeks. They were on their way to a cruise vacation, Raven became sick and they had her checked out. They then admitted her to LSU Children's Hospital then transferred her to St. Jude's in Memphis. Raven is seriously ill, having some trouble keeping her oxygenation where it should be. Please pray for her and her family. She has been in remission twice, so please pray for her to return to remission.
Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
I went to a volley ball game tonight. Janna plays on the varsity team. They had a program between JV and varsity related to October being Breast Cancer Awareness month -- there were cancer survivors there and each was recognized for that great achievement; and, each player and coach on both teams played in honor of or in remembrance of someone with any type of cancer. Janna played in honor of her grandparents I believe and in remembrance of Rick. It was sweet. I had to go out and buy a pink shirt for tonight. Then both families went to Subway for supper after the game. I did see some unsportsmanlike behavior from parents on the other side. That is terrible when the kids have to call the parents down!

Well, I think that is about all for tonight, except to remind you:

3 days until WVFD hay ride and Haunted House

27 days until Halloween...

51 Days until Thanksgiving!

81 days until Christmas Day!
Just in case you need updating.....

Remember, keep your friends and neighbors in your prayers. Love each other, and lets treat each other the way we would like to be treated!

I love all y'all!
To be continued..................

Sunday, October 2, 2011

A good Sunday

Tonight Brother Cecil read the following scripture, then he preached from it. It was preached with love and I believe with all my heart, he is the right man to be our pastor. Tonight reaffirmed that fact again. I am so glad in my heart that I am able to live where I live and that I was lead to this place called Miller Hill. Ever since we started going there, we have been made feel like family. If you are reading this and are looking for something more, look within and ask God if you are where you need to be. He will never leave you and He will never lead you astray!

Luke 15:11-32

11And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

25Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

27And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

29And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

30But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

31And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

My babies!

My two little clowns. They are growing so very fast! Tobi will be 3 in just 12 days, and Perry will be 2 in 20 days. They got to feed the geese at Basil Griffin park today. They are so sweet. Last night Tobi came home and ran to me screaming my name and here came Bubba screaming because Tobi was going to beat him to me. Can you say Jealous?

I will tell you it is only:

5 days until WVFD hay ride and Haunted House

29 days until Halloween...

53 Days until Thanksgiving!

83 days until Christmas Day!
Just in case you need updating.......

Can you believe it? And it is only 11 days until it will be 27 years since I met Rick. It is only 52 days until it will be 2 years since Rick's tumor was found and it is only 90 days until the end of 2011.

Love each other, pray for one another, pray for me that I will get stronger in the Lord. He is my rock. If you need me, call me, I am here for you.

I love all y'all!

To be continued..............

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Just me

I have had a day of remembering. I rode around today looking at the turning leaves, something we used to do together. I was thinking about how 2 years ago I thought life couldn't get any better. Kids grown, no major problems, work going well, everybody healthy (so I thought). And in 12 days it will be the 27th anniversary of meeting Rick. I have already written about this. It was a Saturday night, a neighbor decided to introduce us and from the night I met him, I knew he would be who I would marry. I miss him.

October Rose came home tonight. She had been with her great grandmother. She loves spending time with mamaw. She grew a bushel while she was gone. She ran up the stairs so big, ran up to me and gave me a hug. I love Tobi hugs!

I have decorated some for fall. I love fall. I am disappointed in my shock this year though. And the dogs are trying to sleep in the straw. :(

I didn't sleep very well last night. I hope to sleep better tonight. I still love my CPAP!

This is all for tonight I think.

I love y'all
To be continued..........