More random thoughts.......

From the left my baby brother Doug; Ricky; and my brother Greg. Bruce (also my brother) was not there. This picture was taken Thanksgiving Day at my Mom's last year. We are just 7 weeks shy of Thanksgiving again! I love the "winter" holidays. But, this year there will be one absent. Looking at this photo of Rick, you wouldn't think he only had 3 and a half months or so to live would you? He looks so healthy there, and in reality he wasn't! We already knew he had a tumor; just didn't know exact details at that point. He was just a few days away from surgery. I still love and miss him.

Hey I typed all of that without crying! Better than last night. I did cry while typing but that seems to be getting easier. I thought about the haunted house and hay ride tonight. They will be short one tractor driver. I am sure someone else will step up of course. Rick so enjoyed that though! Last year he was very quiet during the hay ride. I just thought he was tired. If I could go back to the beginning of 2009 and know what I know now, I wonder if the tumor would have been caught in time to fix it. I wonder if it had been there for the 2 years he was having his anemia treated. I wonder if the cancer somehow was affecting his blood cells causing the anemia. Had he consented to the bone marrow test would that have made them look further? It is all just second guessing at this point. As a nurse I don't see how they could be connected, but then again cancer does all kinds of weird stuff to you!

More random thoughts.....I had meetings at work today then a jewelry party tonight. It was fun, and Heather you look so cute as a clown, I don't care what your brother says......

My babies are growing so very fast. Tober calls herself Tobi now, she can tell me who different people are. She knows Nick's friends by name and gets upset if they don't speak to her. They change every day. I just wish she would quit biting her brother!

Back to the winter holidays. Christmas will be here in a short time. I love the holiday simply because of what it stands for.

Had It Not Been

Just suppose God searched through Heaven
He couldn't find one willing to be
The supreme sacrifice that was needed
That would buy eternal life for you and me

Had it not been for a place called Mt. Calvary
Had it not been for the old rugged cross
Had it not been for a man called Jesus
Then forever my soul would be lost

But I'm so glad He was willing
To drink His bitter cup
Although He prayed, Father let it pass from me
And I'm so glad He never called Heaven's angels
From my hands remove these nails that torment me

I have heard that song many times over the years, but I have not heard anyone sing it better than Brother Denzil Bullock. Again, I ask for you to remember Maria's husband in prayer, he will have his leg amputated in the morning. Hopefully, just below his knee and not farther up. And hopefully this will spare his life! His name is Gary. Please pray.

I love you all.