Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fortune Cookies!

So today Nick brought my lunch to work for me. How sweet. His dad used to do that for me from time to time. I ate my sweet and sour chicken (and it was very tasty too!) and opened my fortune cookie as I have done on numerous occasions. It read "you will have much to be thankful for in the coming year." Huh, will have? Wow! I have so very much to be thankful for every day of my life! I have memories to last a life time of my husband and our years together, all the good times far outweigh any bad times we had (and there were some of those too....) I have my 2 children. I have my grandchildren who love me so much. It just warms my heart when I come in the door and Tobi runs to meet me with those little arms up saying mammaw in her slow southern drawl as only Tobi can say. I can't help but smile when I look at Perry and he is looking up at me with smiles bigger than his face and slobber running out his mouth because he's getting more teeth, and he wants me to pick him up....he makes all kinds of noises to get my attention. My babies are the sweetest babies around. I have the best friends and neighbors anyone could ever want. I have my family. They are right there anytime I need them. I have my co-workers. They are right there to help at work. The fact I have co-workers is something to be thankful for. So many people don't have a job today and they have no prospects of finding a job. I have my health. And except for a synthroid pill each morning, I am healthy. I have my church. And the most important thing, I have my salvation and God in my life. If I didn't have that, I don't know where I would be. God has seen me through so much in the past year especially, but really my entire lifetime. He has been with me through many changes. From the time He saved my soul through now, all I have to do is ask for Him and He is right where I left Him.

Now, I am not telling you He answers all my prayers the way I want them answered, but I am telling you He answers them in His time the way He sees fit and if it is good enough for Him, it is good enough for me!

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach

A few years ago, I decided to read the book Simple Abundance. Good book. I also decided to keep the gratitude journal it suggested for a year. In keeping the journal and reading the book, I discovered one simple thing. To keep my life simple, all I had to do was put God first and He would take care of the rest. All I have to do is listen to that still small voice, heed the scripture:

Joshua 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

The simple fact is that if we put God first in our life, nothing else matters. Period. He reminds me of that very fact quite often as I am human and I fail, I fail to pray, I fail to listen to that still small voice when He says "trust Me". Or maybe I listen but I don't have enough faith. I am working on that. It is something that my head knows but sometimes I let life get in the way. I let something someone says stick in my head. Or I let Satan bother me. And he does bother me. He puts obstacles in my path to try to get me off the path. And if I am not strong enough to get around the obstacles, then they block my path. He put a big obstacle in my path November 3 years ago when I worked a shooting as a first responder run. How one human can do that to another is beyond me. We were in revival at church and I was feeling very close to the Lord. Then that call went out and I went. I had a block for the rest of that service. It took several months to get back because I let that get in my head. I got back and other things got in the way. I got back and the cycle repeated itself again. I got back and cancer invaded our lives. And death took my soul mate. I am trying to get back. It is getting easier to be at church. I still can't stand in the alter for singing yet, I don't look up there much yet, but I can be there now. I still think about Rick all the time. I had to go to radiation oncology again today with a patient. That is so hard. And something else happened today that reminded me of our 6 weeks at the Medical Center. I had to choke back the tears. I don't think anyone noticed. But I did. It is also getting easier to talk to the Lord in prayer and feel like He hears me. I trust in Him. All will be well.
It is well.

I love you all.

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