It is just 26 days until the third anniversary of Rick's tumor being found and the beginning of a 3 month one week journey that if I had my rathers, I'd rather not have taken. But that journey is all part of a plan, one that we don't understand. And how the plan is progressing for me is still uncertain. I still hear that still small voice in my heart saying "trust Me" and how can I not? I do trust Him, though sometimes I don't show it. It hasn't been an easy few weeks for me. My mind is bombarded with thoughts that I am having trouble with. Just some things I have to work through. I go to church and it is so difficult to sit there. I still look over to where he used to sit. I know there are many other empty seats there. But for me, it is still so difficult. Our church has been in revival this week. I was off the first three nights and went. I worked the next two nights and couldn't go. Saturday I had the babies and didn't try to take them. Today, I just couldn't go. I feel bad about not going, but I just couldn't bring myself to get ready to go. I don't know if it broke or not, haven't heard a word about it over the weekend. I will find out Monday. I just don't know what to do. I don't have the energy or breath to sing, not that I can sing, but I did used to try. It just feels different now. Say a prayer for me if you can.
Two of my grandbabies spent the night with me last night. We took a walk to the first barn. Little Tommy was there with a horse, he let the kids pet the horse. They loved it. About ten steps into going back, Tobers told me she wanted me to carry her home. Shew, I can barely make it myself let alone carry a four year old! We rested and she was able to walk on home. Perry made every step and held my hand tight. There was horse poop on the road. He said "YUK GAMMA!!" Nick and Janna cut Jack-O-Lanterns with them. They loved it! We made 'ginger bread men" out of sugar cookie dough. They slipped into my room when I was taking their cookies we made out of the oven. Bubba came running into the living room - "Gamma, I need a paper towel!" I started into the bedroom, he said, "NO, I get it!" My heart sank. I found a 20 ounce Coke Zero sinking into my mattress. I slept (right) in the chair and a half, Bubba slept on the couch, Tobers slept on the love seat. They were both out by 10 pm and didn't get up until almost 8:30. She stirred about four am, whimpered a little, and went right back to sleep.Bubba never made a sound all night. He woke smiling. We had chocky milk and went back to Nana's house. He was ready to come back with me when I left. It was a good but tiring night. I only slept a couple of hours off and on from 4 to 7 or so. Just dozed the rest of the time.
On Thursday November 1 we begin our first facebook post of each day with something we are thankful for. This will continue every day until Thanksgiving Day. It is certainly acceptable to continue throughout November. Your choice. I hope we have the participation we had last year. It was wonderful, heartwarming and a blessing to read people's posts last year. I was amazed. My heart was blessed so many times.
Please, please continue to remember the Priddy and Wolf families in your prayers! Please also remember all your friends and neighbors, especially those who have recently lost loved ones, and those who have critically ill loved ones. Prayer works!
I love all y'all!
To be continued...............
“For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.” 1 Peter 1:24-25 KJV