This has been somewhat of a difficult time for me. As I have already posted, Saturday July 3 would have been our anniversary. It helped being with friends yesterday. The only thing is when you come home there is the realization of how things really are. I really hope no one I care about has to experience this, but I know that is an unreal wish. Life happens, death is part of life. We will all come to that hour at some point. What matters then is whether or not the person is ready for that hour. I am. I will have things to answer for when I meet Him. I am not alone in that, I am sure of that! It is like Keith said, the good part is that we know Rick had a hope of a Heavenly home after this life was over. Before 8 years ago, he would not have had that. How would one deal with that loss? To know your loved one was not going to be waiting in Heaven? What would you do? If you could know that you loved someone who did not have that hope and their time would be over is a certain time frame would you go to them and try to help them find their Heavenly Father? I have several friends and family members who have said they do not know the Lord. I pray for them. I have been to some of them and begged them to come to church. I know they saw the change in Rick's life over the past 8 years. I know some of them were at the funeral. They heard a message. A warning went out to them. Whether they choose to do something about it is up to them.
Facebook has been somewhat of a help to me since Rick's illness. You might not believe it, but there is one 'thing' that I have automatically posted however often they post it. That is the Bible Fan Page. I am a fan of the Bible. It is a book of instruction of how to live. We just have to read it and apply it to our life. Anyway, this "fan page" would post passages that seemed so very appropriate for what was going on with Rick and I would re-post the passages as my status! Tonight's post was:
Matthew 11:28-30 (King James Version)
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest
29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Now, you may not understand how that particular passage helps me, but I do. My heart is heavy with sadness and longing for my husband. It tells me that there is One above who will help me if I just have the faith to turn my troubles over to Him. I am looking for that faith right now. I never want to forget Rick. I love him still, and always will even though he is not here. But, I need to be able to move on and function on a daily basis. This time off has helped me. Dr. Phillips' suggestions have helped me, but there is still a heaviness right in my heart. I know with time, it will get better but it will never be completely gone. You just don't spend that much time with someone and not have these feelings, if you loved that person anyway. I ask that when you pray, you ask the Lord to help me in this matter. I love you all.