Monday, December 6, 2010

19 days until Christmas

Christmas will be here before we know it. Time is passing so quickly. October Rose now knows who Santa Claus is and likes to look at his picture. Santa is bringing both of them more than they need for sure. But they will be fun on Christmas morning. I have to work that day unless I am lucky enough to get call. Boy, that would be great! I love Christmas, I really do, but there is a sadness surrounding it this year. Rick loved what the Holiday stands for, he would have been fine leaving it at that. I haven't started signing my Christmas cards yet, I would have already sent them out in years past. I am having trouble figuring out how I am going to sign them without Rick. I started sending cards our first Christmas and have sent out many every year since signing them
"Merry Christmas, Love Rick, Myra, Val and Nick"
but this year will be different. I was thinking I was with him nearly half my life. It is still difficult trying to figure out how to be me without him. It has been a year now since the tumor was removed. It will be a year one day next week since Dr. Smith said 3 months would be a long time to survive. Those words were difficult to hear. People think since I am a nurse that things like that don't bother me. They do. I do have a "matter of fact" attitude in front of people sometimes, that is how I was trained. But things still bother me you just might never see it.

It will be 26 years ago this Christmas eve since I said "yes" when Rick asked me to be his wife. Don't know any more about being a wife after all these years than I did when I said 'I do.' But I tried. He loved me and I loved him. And one day we will be together again.

I went to Trees and Trends the other day and bought a headstone piece for Rick's grave for the winter. He would have said pfft don't be doing that. But I wanted to. I even got him his own little sprig of a tree. I checked on it Saturday. I hope nothing happens to it.

I love you all......

To be continued...........

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