I actually made it through the first year. It has actually been one year and 2 days, and I have some regrets, but those are for me right now. I am not ready to put them down yet. May never. We will see. I miss Rick more than anyone could know unless you have been through it yourself. I know things will never be the same. I guess they're not meant to, really. I guess it is all part of life and life goes on as it is supposed to until that day when the trumpet of the Lord shall sound and time will be no more then we will all be together again if we are ready to go. And I am ready to go......don't take that wrong. I don't want to go yet. I would like to stick around a little longer. When my time comes, though I have a better place to go. There is a song about that too.
I had balloon pump call today which means I am on call to go into work if we have someone on a balloon pump, non-medical friends, this is a pump that helps your heart rest. I had to go in for several hours. I guess I probably made some mad at me. Oh, well. I just asked why they made the assignment the way they did. Didn't mean to offend them. They ask us that same question if they don't like what they see. And it wasn't that I didn't like what my assignment was, it was a great assignment, but I guess I just didn't understand and they didn't either. Obviously. I didn't have the same assignment that I'd had the day before which was having it back was logical to me, and I didn't have the pump which would have been too logical, instead I had a different assignment and then had to report off to someone when if I'd had the pump, I could have just gone on home and nothing else would have changed. That would have been too easy I guess. Oh, well. It is water under the bridge now. I do have to work on my reaction to the assignment though. Rick always fussed when I had call and had to go in. I told him that it was part of it. He always wanted me around. I guess he was kinda fond of me. Maybe. I know I was kinda fond of him.
Tobi told her great-grandmother that her belly hurt the other night. Mary Lou asked her why it was hurting. She said, "because, Mammaw, there is a baby in it!" Gotta love kids! I haven't seen them in a few days. I miss them.
I love y'all.
To be continued............