Friday, January 13, 2012

Second post of 2012

Well, today my sister-in-law and her sisters said good bye to their mom. Nick and I went by the funeral home this morning. I have not been to a funeral since Rick died. I just can't go. I tried to go last year when my cousin's wife died. I went to the church the morning of the funeral, found a place to park, went in looked at her and hugged my cousin and broke down. I could not stay it was too hard. I don't know when that will go away. It may never. I did cook a little food and took it to the fire department where many other neighbors brought food for the family for after the burial. We had plenty. There were just a few left overs. I have been near tears since I got home. The day just has brought back memories. I was asked why I didn't go to the funeral. I told the person why. I think the person felt bad for asking. I didn't mean to make the person feel bad. It just is the way it is. Period. It is hard enough to go to church and think about how he stood for the Lord in that alter so many times and we said our final good bye to him there in that same alter. And when I go in there I see him lying up there in my minds eye. And I see him in his corner where he almost always sat. I see him slap his leg when he felt the Spirit. It is difficult to be there. But I go. I try to put that to the back of my mind. But it is still there. Maybe some day it will get better. I don't know. It is just hard.

On a lighter note, the kids have been so good today. Bubba is talking so much better. Almost daily, he learns a new word and he says "Please" for so many things. It is so cute. Right now, though, they do not want to go to sleep and both need to so badly. BoBo as Bubba calls Olivia is at her grandfathers this weekend. Bubba was asleep when she left and he thinks Val has lost her. He has looked and looked for her. He is a good big brother.

I think this is all for tonight. I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend.

I love all y'all
to be continued.............

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