There are many, many things I've learned on this journey called life. The main lesson is that His will, not ours WILL be done! I listened for weeks from late November through March 6 and that still small voice putting the words "trust Me" in my heart and they still echo in my heart today. But oh, how difficult it is when you want, ask for, pray for one outcome and His will is another. And we don't understand why and we know we shouldn't ask. And people tell you that you should move on. And you try. And every day you wake and there's a reminder of one event or another. This year is more difficult than last for some reason. I just needed to say these things. It is here to be read. I shall not post a new blog post notice for this one. As much as I loved you in life, I still love you now Ricky. I miss you everyday. I know many others do too but they don't miss you like I do. Unless they've had a spouse to die, there's no way they can know how this feels. And I hope they never have to know in one way. But, as humans, it is something we all must face. And half of us will face the death of a spouse. I never want this experience again. So sometimes I wonder: why was love created when it causes death to hurt so much. I have a friend in Nashville whose husband died. After a few years, she met and married a man who treated her like a Queen. He too died. I don't see how she stood it. I really don't think I could. I really don't.
I'm ok. I just had to say these things and there's really no one to say them to. So I write it here.