And it continues even still......

I am having a difficult time finding my words tonight. This is my blog. I should be able to say what I want to. I keep erasing it because I would have to go to the people I am thinking about and I don't want to have to do that. There is a saying "you can't cure stupid!" I really believe that. There are people who are supposed to be my friend that I think should be right here or at least call me to apologize for their behavior over the past few months. In my heart I know they will never show up or call and when I am in the same place they are they will pretend to be my best friend in front of others. The thing is, we both know differently.

Romans 12:19 teaches us:

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but
rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I
will repay, saith the Lord.

and:

Colossians 3:13 teaches us:

Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against
another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

So, I will forgive again and again as many times as I know I have to to have peace with my Lord. He is the one who matters anyway. None of the pettiness and deceit that goes on down here means anything. Lies and wrongs will be righted by Him. It may take until judgment day but it will happen. I want to live my life so that I have nothing to have to explain when I meet Him. I have enough to explain about when I do without adding this. I will bear the hurt in my heart and those people will go on thinking they have one over on me but they don't! I know and now you do, you just don't know who!

There is one more verse to leave with you:

Matthew 18

²¹Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

²²Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Some of them are getting close! I will have to research a little to find out what to do next!

I forgive you. I really do. I love you all. If you are one of those who have hurt me and you called upon me at the dead hour of midnight I would be there for you. I really would. No hesitation.

To be continued....................♥

What a month!

This has been a very difficult month for us emotionally. Those who know us know what is going on. I won't elaborate on it here. Just know this: truth will prevail. I trust the Lord my God will deliver us from this. I don't understand why people have to be so mean.

Romans 12:19 teaches us:
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

I will trust in Him. He is my rock. He is my salvation. He will deliver.

Soggy Bottom Boys- I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow

This was one movie (actually one of many) that Rick and I really loved! We watched it numerous times. He would get tickled at me because the first dozen or so times we watched it I found something new to laugh at! If you have never seen it, you need to once. The language is a little colorful, but we really enjoyed this movie. Many parts are our favorites. One part in particular was the scene when they see the sirens and Pete says "I seen 'em first!" I laughed at that so many times and when Delmar thinks Pete was turned into a toad.....memories, sweet, fun memories......

Lincoln Elementary School Volley ball, cheerleading!

I went to elementary school at Lincoln, it was closed a couple of years after I left there. The kids from the Lincoln community go to Kyrock. Over the weekend, a friend from Lincoln got in touch with a former teacher of ours from our days at LES. I sent her a friend request and she accepted. It was really good to hear from her. She was a great teacher. I am not just saying that because she may read this either! LOL! Her brother worked at Mammoth Cave National Park. I can not remember if her husband did or not, I would guess he was a ranger, if you read this and are from that area, you would know her brother's name. Anyway, when she came to be our teacher, we could not pronounce her last name so we called her Mrs. Beth. Now, what is so difficult about pronouncing Vaccaro? Just ask a 6th or 7th grader! Up to the point of Mrs. Beth being our teacher we had never really met teachers from outside KY.....and rarely from outside Edmonson County! She brought in a bit of new "culture" to us. She wanted us to learn and she cared about us and it was evident. As children, sometimes we do not appreciate what we have until we get "old". I told her I appreciated her as a teacher -- something I wish I'd done way back then. I remember once when she wanted us to learn some words in a couple of different languages. I never caught on! Couldn't roll those "R's" like she could!

I also remember our whole class becoming upset when in the 6th or 7th grade after we were settled in we had to change classrooms to a different teacher. I don't remember the reasons they gave us for that though. Anyway. I loved school way back then! Had all "A's" in eighth grade! Boy though that changed in high school. Anyway.

Wonder how many of you believe I was a cheerleader in 7th and 8th grades? Well I was! And it was fun and I still have my uniform! My aunt Pauline made them. They were navy jumpers with white blouses and a big gold "T" for Tigers on the front. PomPoms were navy and white. Fun times. Mr. Vincent had a beetle bug car and he drove all of the cheerleaders to his house in it and to the game at tournament time. We'd all be in trouble for that if it was today.........his wife wanted us to come there can't remember the reason. Wonder what ever happened to them???

I also remember all the volley ball games at 12 o'clock break and if they were really good games they would last well into time for buses! Great times!

I guess that is enough remembering for one night. Good night, I love you all.

To be continued.................♥

♥ Just a few random thoughts ♥

I miss this man. But for as much as I miss him, I know he is not suffering now. He is at peace. He went through a lot from November 23 to March 6. He is holding Jessie, our nephew, my brother Bruce's only child. Jessie loved his Uncle Rick. When strawberries were ripe, his great-grandfather came to pick them for him and he had a little tantrum, a "James fit" I guess.....he wanted Uncle Rick to pick them for him. He just doesn't understand. I don't either really, but I as much as I love and miss Rick I wouldn't bring him back to suffer for anything in this world unless he could be cured. I know that could not happen, so I will go on and miss him every day and look toward the day when we will meet again. It does not mean I love him any less! It means I loved him enough to let go and let God have him. He let me keep him a few days over 3 months from the day the tumor was debulked (sorry removed to the best of their ability). I cherish each and every day we had together and I do not regret one day spent with him in the hospital for that 6 weeks. We had a good life together and I would not change anything through November 23. If I could change the events of his last few months, it would have been for the tumor to never have existed. We can not change what is. Ours is to accept what God puts in front of us and learn from it. I have learned a lot in the past 9 months. One thing I learned is from the book of Daniel. Chapter 3 verses 15 through 28. Brother Steven preached from these passages several times but it took my friend Hillary and what she is facing with her new baby coming soon to really understand what part of that message was for me. The passages concern the fiery furnace and the men who wouldn't bend, bow or burn. They went into the furnace with the belief that God would bring them through. Their faith was so strong that they said even if he doesn't do what we want we still will not bow to you. I needed my faith to be so strong that even if Rick didn't survive the cancer our lives go on and my faith in God would not be changed and my faithfulness to HIM would not change.....and one day we will understand the reason for this time in our lives. I still don't know what all the lessons from these experiences are but I do know that as I need to know, they will be revealed to me and when I am allowed to share them I will. I won't forget the night when this lesson was revealed to me. I shared it with Hillary. I don't know for sure if she realizes just how much she helped me by posting about the book from Daniel. It was as if it was revealed to me as I was reading it. It was so very clear. Until you experience that revelation for yourself, you can only take my word for it....but know this I love my Lord God with all my heart and I intend to serve him until my time on this earth ends. With His help, I go on each day. He is my rock and He is who I turn to.

To be continued......
I love you all...........♥

♥ 5 months ago tonight ♥

This photograph was taken on Christmas eve 2008. Miss October Rose Suttle was 2 months 1 1/2 weeks old. That was the first time she spent the night with Gamma and Papaw. It was that night about midnight I was holding her and talking to the Lord and He promised me He would save her soul if I lived for Him. I am trying my best to do that! I want that precious baby girl to grow up loving the One who saved us by His grace. She knows who Papaw was. She will look at pictures of him, hug them and say "Papaw". Little did we know we would only have one more Christmas!

It has been a long day. Many memories flooding in. It was 5 months ago tonight that that dear man went out of my life on this earth to wait for me in Heaven. I am sure he is up there looking down over us and shaking his head saying I told you not to cry over me and to move on. I am trying. He did tell me that more than once after we found out what would be.

It will take time.

Oh no, my TV died yesterday. I had a difficult time last night. It didn't die totally, it just shot some bulb or circuit. It had a terrible color. People were green and purple! And the picture was kind of sideways......I had to throw it out. I got the one from the camper. It works fine! It is a bit smaller but I can see it from the bed and that is all I need! I guess TV's have a hard time with me. They stay on all night.

I love you all.

To be continued.......................♥

It's night night time!

Today I spent the day at work. I work with some pretty amazing folks. :)

It was a very busy day. Everyone helped each other today, as it should be. Came home and the babies were sleeping. Wasn't long though before October was awake, crying and afraid.....like she'd had a bad dream. She really wanted her mommy. I sang her a little song we made up for Val when she was about the same age ---> "It's night night time doodie doodie, it's night night time doodie, doodie" and repeat. She giggled and said "again!" so it continued. Her mom came back in the room with her some milk. I said hey Mommy sing the night night song. Val sang it. Tobers just giggled. She liked it. She is still awake however! She is also a big girl, not a little girl or baby, just ask her she will tell you!

My brother and his wife were here Thursday and went back to Ohio today. Doug called after lunch to tell me they'd made it home. They left Jacob here for 2 weeks, they will come back for him then. Ohio doesn't start school until last week or so of August. He may be bored though, Edmonson Co. starts tomorrow!

Over the weekend, I became involved in a project for a neighbor, it is easy-- it involves going to a link for Kohl's Department store and voting for Bristow Elem. School to get them in the running for money for their school. Last year their playground was taken for construction of their new school. They move in this week. Very good, but the kids still don't have a playground and if they get enough votes, they can win a lot of money--more than enough to build a new playground for those kids! If you read this, please go to my facebook profile page or wall as some call it and follow the directions on the post and VOTE 5 times for Bristow Elem. School. You can actually vote 15 more times for other things....but max of 5 times for Bristow. So, please if you have not voted go there and vote. It is for children, a very good cause! All children need a good, safe place to play. It is one way they learn to get along in this world. Help please!

I am still having some trouble with sleep or the lack of to be exact. I hope things get lined out soon. I am sure a lot of it has to do with what has happened this year. Some of it has to do with my age too. I am not a spring chicken! Rick used to tease me about my age. I would tell him "no matter how old I get, you are still 11.5 years older" he would smile and still tease me. I miss him. I love you all. Goodnight.

To be continued..................♥