Random thoughts

This time of year is difficult for folks who’ve lost loved ones in the recent past - and not so recent past.  For a few of my friends, this Christmas will be their first without their spouse.  And for one of these strong women, it’ll also be the first Christmas without her mom.  A few other friends won’t have their mom too.   I can’t tell you the feelings I still have without Rick here.  This will be our tenth Christmas without him.  And my mom, my brothers and I will have our first Christmas without Pap.  Yes, we still have other family members around but it’s just not the same.

Please remember your friends in your prayers tonight and every night.  We don’t understand why things turned out this way right now; but someday we’ll know all about it.  

Until next time.  

❤️ I love all y’all.  

Christmas! 🎄

It’s one of my favorite times usually.  This year is different though.  It’s been almost ten years since Rick has been gone.  Now my dad is gone.  We have been working so much overtime these past several months.  I’m exhausted physically and mentally.  My Christmas tree is up and there are a few presents under it.  None of that would be though if not for my kids.  I just don’t have any energy to do much.  I haven’t made my sourdough starter this year.  I’ve made no candy.  I work.  I watch football.  I play with my baby grandson.  My other grandchildren are too big to play with gamma.  

Please remember your friends when you go to pray.  Remember those who have sick family members and those who have endured loss in the recent past - even the not so recent past.  

❤️ I love all y’all.  

Until next time.  

Another first

Holiday time is a wonderful time.  Families get together, share good times and a great meal together.  They make wonderful memories together.  I cherish those memories and traditions.  In my job, I am required to work holidays.  Every other Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I’m spending those holidays with someone else’s family taking care of them at sometimes the worst times in their lives.  I chose this profession. It’s part of the job.  I told my family a long, long time ago I didn’t want them changing our traditions to accommodate me.  So, my mom fixes the dinner on the holiday every year. She doesn’t let us help with anything as far as preparing the meal.  This year things will be a little different.  There’s another empty chair at the table.  In a way, I’m kind of glad to be scheduled to work because it’ll be a bit sadder at our home with it being our first holiday without pap.  He surely enjoyed his holiday meals.  Y’all remember us and all the other families spending our first holiday with an empty chair.  

❤️I love all y’all.  

Until next time.  

Ten Years

I find it hard to believe that it’s been ten years since my family started on one of the hardest journeys in our life. I will never forget those 104 days.  When I first started writing, it was to help me deal with everything I was feeling over his illness and death.  The death of a spouse is something you never, ever completely get over.  The grief has always been there since March 6, 2010 (and really since the tumor was found).  It has changed to where it’s bearable though.  For a while, I wasn’t sure it ever would be.  Our marriage wasn’t perfect by any means but it was ours.  We were planning our 25th anniversary party.  We didn’t quite make it though.  I’m fine. It’s just an anniversary of. And those are hard!! 

Y’all pray for your friends, family, neighbors.  Our county, state and country.  

I miss him and think about him every day.  He loved his family and friends. He never met a stranger. 

Until next time.  

❤️ I love all y’all.  

It’s been a while

Since my computer died and Blogger wasn’t supported by my iOS, it’s been quite a while since I’ve written anything. So much has happened.  I have a daughter-in-law and new grandson.  His name is Xavier Thomas and he is 8 months old (in a few days).  He’s the sweetest baby boy around. He loves to give gamma sugars.  We also have Stella and Moon. They are good dogs.  

It’s hard to believe ten years ago today was our last “normal” day.  I worked that day. Rick came to work and brought me a Diet Coke.  He also offered to pick up Wendy’s for supper.  That was the beginning of recognizing something was not quite right.  

Speaking of Diet Coke, it’s now been 3 days since I’ve had one.  I almost caved yesterday but didn’t. Today, I’m hanging on not having one.  I can’t say that I’ve craved one at all today.  And there are none in the house.  I suppose that helps.  

I’m not sure how this post will turn out.  I’m excited to find this app though and possibly get back into the habit of writing. Time will tell.  

❤️ I love all y’all.