So I have been thinking (I know, right!) seriously I have! I have been thinking a lot about everything that has happened in the past 3 years. Some things have been just wonderful and some have been not so wonderful but all the things that have happened have helped shape who I am today. I am me. In a way, I am not Rick's wife anymore as much as that hurts to say. He is gone. I said I do til death us do part. And that day happened March 6, 2010. But it will always be Rick and Myra. And though he is gone, I still have him in my heart. There is not a day goes by that I don't think about him. And no tears readers, no tears! This is part of life-- it happens to everyone.
Before we knew Rick was sick, we became grandparents. Tobi was the apple of his eye. He adored that baby girl. She knows who papaw is in his picture, but I don't think she can remember him. Bubba was born only one month before the tumor was found so I know he has no clue who papaw was. They never had a chance to bond. I do know if he was here today, he would adore Bubba. I think he would follow him around. And Olivia would just melt his heart.
I miss him every day, and he will always be in my heart. I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if I will ever find someone else, if I will even ever look for someone else. He told me to find someone else and be happy. He said he did not want me to grieve over him, to get on with life. I was "young" (haha). It is still too soon to even think about that. I still see his face everywhere I turn. He is there. He is out in that garden that is full of weeds now. He is out in that garage working. He is out in the woods cutting wood every time I go out. Sometimes I think I hear him call my name. So I know I am not ready for that right now.
I go to his grave and I can hear him tell me that I need to get on with my life. That was one of the last things he told me before we went to the hospital for the last time.
All in all our life was one amazing ride from our beginning, up to Massachusetts, down to Tennessee and back to Wingfield. We had bumps and bruises, good times and not so good times. We have met some amazing people everywhere we lived. Jack and Aurora in Massachusetts, Reo and his family in TN, to all these amazing folks right here in Wingfield. I have only known y'all since mid 1994, but I feel I have known y'all for all my life. We have had some amazing rides of our own! Remember Kota chasing Nick, the chickens chasing Nick and Val at the Smiths, Nick in the ditch with his toys, Nick under the water, Nick driving and tearing up my car? July 4th? The dropped coke? Farmers market and all those vegetables? Those memories are priceless! And priceless are the friends we shared them with!
I will be in awe of what is yet to be in store!
I love y'all!
To be continued.................