Sunday, September 26, 2010

♥My son is now 20 years old!

Twenty years ago today Nicholas Ryan Sanders made his debut weighing in at 8 pounds even and 2.5 weeks early! Look at him today, could you ever imagine he once weighed only 8 pounds? He did, and he was my "little baby" his sister weighed 10 pounds 5 1/4 ounces!

I love you Bubby!

Over the years Nick has been all boy! Many days he would get hurt or wreck a bike or four wheeler or put his hand down on a stinging worm or something. He would try to get his sister in trouble, even before he could talk. And they are both jealous of each other. No lie, they are! One day, I believe it was in the first house, they were so quiet. I was cooking supper, I heard thump, thump, thump! I ran to see what it was. Val had put his baseball batting helmet on him, put him in his little tykes toy box (minus the toys) and shoved him down the basement steps! I made it just in time to see him hit the bottom landing, be moved forward into the wall with his head and sit back down in the toy box and want to go again! Good thing she put that helmet on him! Of course I said NO!! Don't remember if I grounded them or not. She also had him convinced if he got off the couch in the basement alligators would eat him. He believed her!

My kids are just like everyone else's kids! All parents love their kids! I made mine mind me. I spanked them when they needed it. I spoiled them something terrible. I think mom's do that! I know I did. I also know I felt so very blessed to have them both. Nick is no more my favorite than his sister, but I lost 4 babies between them. No trouble carrying either of them, just the 4 I lost. But those losses were very difficult in their own way each time.

The first loss was in November 1986, Val was just 11 months old. I remember how I cried when I got the positive result. I wanted a second baby so very badly but I wanted her to be a bit older first. I accepted it and moved on. Just a couple weeks later I contracted a stomach virus. I was sent to ER and then home from work. Just 6 hours later, I began to miscarry. I was devastated by that too! Oh, the guilt I felt. I thought God was punishing me for being upset that that baby was on the way! Her name would have been Amanda Renee. I just knew it was another girl. Actually it was so very early (7 weeks by the blood test) that there was no way to know yet but I just "felt it". I was given a book by a good friend to help me deal with that loss. The name of the book was "Empty Arms" don't remember the author. That book and another good friend helped me be able to accept what was and move on AND not blame God. We went through that 3 more times before Nick came along, each time before 8 weeks passed. Later on I was able to share that book with a dear relative who suffered the same loss, I think she was a bit further along. I hope it helped her as much as it did me. Well meaning friends who were at a loss for words would say things like "it just wasn't meant to be" and "it's for the best" and other little phrases trying their best to help. In my opinion at times like that words are not necessary. Hugs and "I love you" are enough! But I do and did appreciate the thoughts and love shown. Please don't misunderstand!

I think I will end this installment now. I will ask you all to love each other, pray, call a friend you haven't heard from in a while just to say hi, give God the praise and thanks due Him, live you life, love your family and your enemies. Make your enemies your friend.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Love you all......

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