Monday, January 18, 2016


In just 5 short days, another anniversary will pass. Its one I wish I didn't have. January 23 2010 was the last hours ever my husband was in our home. The home we built together. The home we planned together. The one we worked so hard for. The one our children grew up in. The only home Nick can remember. In the late afternoon that day he was so sick and obviously oxygen hungry he let me call an ambulance. His next ride would be 6 weeks later in a funeral home van. That day was a whirlwind. That morning he walked to the car to go to the Dr. By the time we got there it was all I could to to get him in a wheelchair to get him inside. By the time we called the ambulance, he couldn't walk. He was too weak and had such trouble breathing. When EMS arrived, his oxygen was so low they took him with lights and siren blaring. I was more afraid than when we found the tumor. Long story short (and already in a previous post) blood clots to his lungs - multiple. Complications from them took his life. He had one of those filters placed on January 24 but kept having the clots.

I miss him more than you ever could know unless you've lost a spouse too. Then you know. I overheard it said once that losing a sibling was worse. You could get another spouse but you can't get more siblings. That person never lost a spouse. I have all my siblings so I can only imagine. And I imagine it hurts. Perspective I guess. And I'd imagine a different kind of pain.

Last week Nick and I went through the shelf of canned food. We found a few cans of the vegetable soup Rick and I had canned.  We will enjoy it this winter! We thought it was all gone. I was secretly hoping to find salsa. Not that lucky. That soup was every bit as good as I remembered. The memories were so fresh. I almost expected to hear Rick say "fix me something" the way he always did.

These next few weeks will be sad. But I will be fine.

Jeremiah 29:11King James Version (KJV)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

King James Version (KJV)

I love all y'all.
To be continued........

No comments:

Post a Comment