Just me, Myra: From "The Next Chapter" which I am deleting and combining with Rick and Myra

Posted Sunday 8/7 in The Next Chapter, I am combining the two blogs and will delete The Next Chapter shortly

Starting a new chapter, maybe?

So today I was thinking about life in general. I do that sometimes. I get so deep in thought that I don't think about anything else, wondering about different things that no one has the answer to. I think that I need to try to move on with living and get out of the rut I have been in. I know that part of me will never be the same. I know that no matter what I do, it will not change. And that's ok! There is no shame in that at all. The thing I need to focus on is life goes on. It always has and it always will until that day when the great trumpet sounds and time ends. No one on this earth nor in Heaven knows when that day will come. Rick would not want me to sit around all day every day and mope for him. He told me to move on. I don't think he realized how difficult that would be! I still love him, I still have his cell phone on, I still call it often to hear his voice.

So I have purposed in my heart to move forward with my life. I don't know what that means really. But the one thing I know is he smiled when I said it! How does one really move on after that kind of loss? I won't forget him, I can't forget him! We spent way too many years together for that!

I think what I have to do is be me. I think I have been, it's just I have to do things I want to do, and not think so much about what we would have done.

And what that will mean will develop as I go. It was Rick and Myra much longer than it was just Myra.

I intend to continue to post as I need to in RickandMyra. And I will post in the recipe blog as well. This will be the place for general posting. And we will go from there!

I love y'all!
To be continued...........

Monday August 8

Difficulty deciding which place this goes!

138 days until Christmas Day.............

You know, I have been praying about my job lately. I would love to have weekends off and more holidays with my family and to be able to go to church anytime it goes on. So, I get to work today and my boss (and dear friend whom I have known 33 years) tells us she is moving on to another job offering. She looks like the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. I had not been there an hour when the first person asked me if I would apply for her job. I told her no thank you. She said are you sure? I had to go off the unit for a while with my patient. Another nurse came to relieve me. I asked her if she was going to apply for the job, she said no, but you should. When we came back from the tests, 3 people stopped me and asked me if I was going to apply. I said I had not thought that much about it, but people were asking me. Night shift came in and each one asked me the same question. Now I am thinking about it. But if you remember in an earlier post in the RickandMyra Blog, I said "been there, got the tee shirt and put it in a yard sale"--and the last thing Sally asked me before she left for the night was, do you want my job?

Now I am wondering is God trying to tell me something? Sometimes He opens doors for us when we ask and we don't see them. So now with tears in my eyes, I have to ask Him, is this what I need to do? I am so unsure right now. I have been there, not at this facility, but I have done this before. I missed my patients, that is how I wound up back in Bowling Green to work. 1. The job is not even posted. 2. Sally is my friend. 3. She is leaving under her wishes. 4. I love CCU. 5. She asked me if I wanted to apply. 6. I did not come back to BG to manage a unit. 7. I do not have a BSN degree. 8. 52 is awfully old to return to school to get that degree. 9. The hospital has tuition reimbursement. 10. I don't know if Betsy (whom I also have known 33 years) would even consider me for the job.

I have been praying about something different to do...........

What to think?

Suggestions?

I love y'all!
To be continued.....................

Tuesday August 9

Still thinking

Well, I have been thinking all day about what to do about the new opening in CCU. I have been praying for an answer all day, and it came to me that it was touched on on Sunday night at church. Really. They read scriptures something like the one below. I did ask, have been asking for several months and I was waiting for an answer. This may not be it, and if I don't apply, I will never know will I? If it is meant to be, then it will happen. I still have a bit of thinking to do, but I believe it will be ok. It will work out the way it is supposed to. I believe that. So, if the job is posted, I will apply. If it is meant to be, it will happen! If it is not, then something will come along! I have faith! I don't know if this is my answer, but we'll find out. Together.

I was sitting on the front porch watching the hummingbirds. I was also looking out over the field seeing the last of the sunlight for the day touching the trees. I noticed the color is changing, they are still green, but there is a bit of dullness there now. And the sun sets a little earlier every day or two and rises a little later every day or two now. It was still warm out there, but there was a slight breeze, and in the breeze, there was just a hint of a chill. Yes, it is still summer, but fall is only about six or seven weeks away! Those hummingbirds were so mean to each other. Little bossy was watching the feeder and the two plants I have that have trumpet flowers for them. He was also watching the butterfly bush, they love it too. Kept him busy. By dark there were a half dozen or so out there trying to sneak in. I love those birds.

I love y'all!

To be continued...............

Matthew 7: 7-8
⁷Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
⁸For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

And the last post earlier today

CPAP tomorrow!

Went to get the results of the sleep apnea tests. I was there almost 2 hours! The first test I only had like 5 minutes of REM sleep and zero deep sleep. With the second test, there were 5 episodes of REM sleep and lots of deep sleep! Now, hopefully after tomorrow, I will get much more sleep like with the second test. I will use the machine and go back with the memory card in 6 weeks and they will tell me if it needs adjustment. Hopefully, it wont! YAY!

I got home to 2 little wild Indians! They have been running around like crazy! They have gone down for naps now! There is just no breaks of peace and quiet around here! I love my grandchildren, but they should not live with me all the time! Maybe someday they will have their own home! My goodness! There is always something going on with 2 toddlers and a baby!

This morning I was looking over facebook, came across a post of a supposed friend who had posted something about a mutual friend. The comments there really hurt my feelings and I am not involved! Then I found out the comments were altered before they were posted! How cruel to make yourself look good and make someone else look like a pitiful whiney person! And that person who may or may not read my post addressing the manner without calling names will not even believe it is directed at them. What a shame and how arrogant! Why can't people just treat each other the way they would want to be treated. How sad to treat people that way and act like you are their friend to their face. And if that person sees it on facebook, how hurt will they be? I don't always look back at earlier posts, but I know if I found something like that from one of my friends, I would be so hurt. I am sure not everyone on my friends list is an actual friend, but what I understand is these two were supposed to be good friends. How interesting. Time to clean up friends lists I think! And no, I will not mention names or female or male here. I will never confront that person about it. But I know. Just like many other things and comments from people who are supposed to be my friend. I remember. I know. I know from personal experience how that hurts people.