It's an interesting journey!

This life has so many ups and downs and changes all around. Some days we don't know which end is up and which is down. One thing I do know is if I trust in my Lord and try my best to do His will, I will not have so many issues hounding me. I have not done that so much the past few months. I have let thing bother me that normally I would have let roll off my back. I have had so many changes and sometimes don't really know what to do. Some days I want to sell it all and find a little place where I can just be me. Then I think, I am me right where I am. What I need to do is be happy with what I am doing where I am right now.

With all these health issues and changes, I have started a different blog: Just Me Myra My Journey with Change. It is linked in the blog list to the left of this post if you care to take a look, it is there. In it, I will journal my successes and failures as honestly as possible. If you read it and care to comment, you are most welcome. I prefer constructive criticism, not derogatory comments! Those type will be deleted! Certainly, everyone has their right to their own thoughts, but since these are my blog posts, and you are certainly free to read or not read, negativity will not be left on the page! I have an app on my iPhone which I am using to help me keep up with my carbs, proteins, sodium etc until I get used to it. It also tracks successes for me if I enter them. If you would like to begin a journey of your own, several local folks use this app and one friend recommended it to me and so far I like it better than the app I had found and was using the first few days. It is called My Fitness Pal and it is a free app at the app store or message me on facebook and I can send you an invite.

In years past, July would have been a big month for us. July and August were big producers of corn, potatoes, beans and tomatoes. We would spend about 6 hours at the Farmer's Market in Brownsville selling our vegetables. I miss those days. People ask me if I have beans this year. I don't. I can't do that by myself and Nick is too busy with the mowing business to garden too. Rick always did the garden part, I just sold it. I helped a little in the gardening part but Rick and Nick did the most of that. I almost forgot the watermelons! Rick could grow some great melons! So sweet and juicy! And he loved his cantaloupe! I hate that melon but he loved it. I would be putting up beans and corn today if things were different. :)

It is how it was meant to be. God has a plan and it is up to us to try to accept His plan into our lives. Sometimes it isn't easy. That is part of the test!

I love all y'all!❤
To be continued......

2 of Gamma's kiddos being silly! Love my babies!

Hebrews 11:1-39 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

There are days

Sometimes a post or a photo or even a simple thought will trigger specific memories. Right now is no different. A female hummingbird stopped by the feeder. Bandit got all excited about a visiting dog. Then there was a Facebook post with what looked like wonderful homegrown maters. I was taken back 4 years and beyond on days just like this.

It was work! And I miss it. And I miss him.  And if he couldn't be cured, I wouldn't wish him back for anything (even if I could). He's not hurting or struggling for every breath for days on end now. And because of his spot in his garden and his testimony that let me know without a shadow of doubt I will see him again one day. 

Didn't mean to upset or depress anyone. Not looking for sympathy. It's just a feeling I hope you never have to know! But I know some will have to know because it is appointed to us to die. It's in the plan. Doesn't make it hurt less!

I love all y'all!❤

To be continued....

Mid way through the first day

It's mid day. I'm about half-way through the my first day trying to comply with changes I need to make. I won't go into details about every little thing. I did stop by the Scottsville Road Farmers Market and buy some good peaches from Dunn-Bowen orchard. They are just right. 

I also bought ambrosia corn and tomatoes from vendors there. I cooked green beans for lunch along with cut off corn and sliced tomatoes. And I stayed in compliance. 

I've had lots of water today and if you know me very well, you know how difficult that is for me. Another difficult thing is because of the mildly elevated blood sugar and Dr imposed diabetic diet, no more real coke. Poo. And, because of my self-imposed aspartame ban no coke zero or diet coke. Diet Rite is nasty in case you didn't know. My mom and dad drink it every day. I've had one glass of it. Didn't like it. It may grow on me. We'll see. The LASIX (water pill for my non medical friends) is keeping me busy and my chest/throat tightness is better today. Yay! Gotta run back to town to pick up my Clonidine (bp pill) since I forgot to pick it up. 

I love all yall❤

To be continued......

Checking out the shortness of breath

So I have been having progressively more shortness of breath over the past several weeks. The past few days have been the worst yet with Friday and Friday night being the worst so far. Friday I became very diaphoretic (sweaty with cool skin) with profound shortness of breath and chest, throat and arm tightness while at work. I attributed it to hormones (hot flashes) but it got better with rest. I kept that in the back of my mind though. Friday night after I went to bed with my CPAP on, the tightness returned. I debated and took a nitroglycerin tablet which helped enough to let me sleep. Saturday morning the sweaty clammy thing happened again and resolved with rest. I tried to hide how I felt from our guests. We had a good time Saturday night. Sunday I was so short of breath I called in sick for today with intentions to go see Dr Avula this morning. I missed church and haven't heard how the service went. Breathing was just too short. Today I called and Dr Avula was out. David (his Physicians Assistant) was in so I made an appointment to see David. I didn't know Dr Collins was there and saw him. He explained about the diastolic dysfunction not letting my heart rest enough and since heart arteries are fed during rest, even open arteries suffer from lack of time to fill. He said the nitro was the correct thing to have done (relaxes smooth muscle lowering BP) the other night and added Clonidine to help with the relaxation phase of the heartbeat and lower my blood pressure. He also told me to take my as needed LASIX a little more right now until I'm less short of breath. He also insisted on my getting my blood sugar (only a bit high at 118) down some and my cholesterol (240!!!) down a lot! 

So, with a little compliance on my part, this will get better! 

I love all y'all! ❤

To be continued.....

A good day

Yesterday was a good day. Nick and I had family and friends who are like family over for a late afternoon cookout and fireworks at dusk. I didn't count how many came but there were several here. We had lots of good food and desserts and a pretty fireworks show. I believe everyone had a great time. If anyone was hungry, it was their own fault! 

(Photo from google images)

For the past few days I have been so very short of breath. It is now to the point I can not walk and talk at the same time. I get very diaphoretic doing any task home or work. I am a little worried. Friday night it was also accompanied by chest throat and arm heaviness. I took a nitro tablet I've had around for a few years but it was still good. I know this because it took the top of my head off. It eased the heaviness too. I slept we'll last night but had to take a nap this afternoon. My CPAP helps a little with the shortness of breath. In fact, I'm about to go back to bed now. I did call in to work tomorrow. I will be trying to get into Dr Avula tomorrow. We will see what he says. It's just been a little over a year since I had a heart cath that said the arteries were pretty good. They don't clog up in this short amount of time generally. We will see tomorrow. 

I love all y'all! ❤

To be continued......

The very best memories!

Today would have been the 28 year anniversary of being married to Rick. I won't tell you that our life together was all roses because it wasn't. But it was our life together. When I said "I do" I meant it. For better or worse, richer or poorer. And we had a lot of all of it. Good, bad, certainly poorer! There's a story about before Val was born ALL we had to eat was a couple bullion cubes, onion flakes and 3 or 4 taters. I made tater soup. Rick, in his infinite wisdom, decided it needed more pepper. He added so much pepper we couldn't eat it! Needless to say, we went to moms for a few days! And especially our last several years we had the riches of a happy home. While we had trials for sure, those last several years Rick had The Lord in his heart and it was our best years together. Remember richer doesn't necessarily mean financially! For our 24th anniversary, he bought me the frame in the picture below. For our 25th anniversary, we planned to renew our vows in front of our friends and family. God, however, needed Rick more than I. He took him home just shy of 4 months from that 25th anniversary. 

It's ok though because God knows what He needs and our needs and He has and will take care of us. And though I miss Rick everyday, I miss him more on those anniversary of's. 

So for this day I will not cry it away. I will remember the good times. The times of joy. The times our home was full of family and friends at one of our dinners. The children growing up. The times it was just us here. The times Tobi would be here. She was certainly papaw's girl just like her mommy was daddy's girl. Both had Rick wrapped around their little finger. 

Valarie was almost 5 in the photo; Nick was about 2 months old. 

Papaw and "T-T-T Tobers". Can you tell she was his world?!  He doesn't look like that in just a few months he would be diagnosed with a brain tumor and would be gone in less than a year does he?! Please remember life is short at best and tell those you love how you feel. Better still, show them how you feel. Then they will know! The only thing that I can think of that would have made our last years better would have been to have found Ricks son Greg. We tried to find him that last summer. So glad he found us! No regrets though. No what ifs. God didn't intend it any other way!

Our family circle may be broken now, but one day it will be complete once again!

If I could go back and do it all over again I would not hesitate!

I love all y'all! ❤

To be continued......

28 years today

This was my view on my way home from work last night. The picture does not do it justice the way the sun was shining from behind that cloud was almost majestic. I don't know how you can see something like that and not believe in God!

 

This was my view on my way to work yesterday morning. This is at the end of my driveway. I haven't seen water coming over the road like that but once since we redid the driveway back in 1998. Remember all that water Norma? 

 

This was the same area just in front of me and the "new" way out. I used to have to cross all that water every time it rained more than a .5 inch at a time and last night when I got home, I emptied 4 inches of water from my rain gauge.

 

28 years ago today I was Myra James engaged to Rick Sanders. My neighbors and co-workers thought he was way too old for me. I was 26 years old. He was 37. I met him the October before. I knew I would marry him the day I met him. I really didn't see the age difference. When I take care of a patient the born the same year as Rick, I see someone older than me. I really didn't see him that way.  If you have read this blog, you know that story- or most of it. 28 years ago to day would be my last day with the last name of James. Now here I am 28 years later still a Sanders. Many people including some family said it would never last and there were a few times I wondered but we always managed to work through our problems. Sometimes I have wishes that things were different.  I know in everything there is a plan. I just don't know what that plan is for me right now.

When you go to pray, I ask you to remember a friend (and her  mother and brothers) whose mother has been diagnosed with cancer in her lung, liver and rib. She is a good woman and I have only gotten to know her this past year or so. I have always known of her, but never really spent much time with her until her daughter married and moved into our community. I (as many others) feel we have always known our friend and her family is precious to us. We ask for you to remember them in your prayers. God knows all about it and knows the situation. 

     Philippians 4

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
⁵ Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
⁶ Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
⁸ Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
⁹ Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
²⁰ Now unto God and our Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen

I love all y'all

To be continued........